Thursday, October 30, 2008

A wild ride . . .

It's true! Today has been quite the wild ride for me (so to speak). I've been up, down, up, down, up and back down again and it's barely 1:30!

Today started off fairly well. I'm suffering from a little back pain that started last night. I don't like it, it makes me uncomfortable, but I'm just pushing through hoping that it miraculously disappears!

I am wearing a belt today. Yep. A belt. Here's what happened . . . I was trying to look for some decent/nice clothes to wear to work today because we will have visitors in the office. I hate wearing jeans or not looking nice when visitors come to the office (even though I work for a construction company and most people wear jeans with holes). So, since I wore the only pair of black pants that I had yesterday, I had to settle for jeans today. The only jeans that I thought were nice enough are size 18 - which are a little too big (bummer, eh). So, I looked in my drawers knowing that there's a belt in there somewhere - and I found it. Then, I thought to myself, "I have no idea what size this belt is or if it's even going to fit", but I tried it and it worked. Who wears belts anymore? I do! And I may just get more of them!!!!! The belt, fortunately, made the pants work and I must say, I felt pretty good about my outfit today!

On another good note, today is my sister's birthday and she is surrounded by people that are making her day feel very special. I think that's very important, especially since I know that I can be with her today to celebrate it. We'll celebrate it up on Saturday! I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm finding myself in a strange place/thought process today. I can't help but think about dating and how this is something I want to do (I think). It's strange. I don't typically occupy my time with how I can get a date or how to meet people, etc., but today, I can't get this off my mind. We even went to lunch today and at Taco bell, I was looking around and there were plenty of people that appeared to be "dating" or at the beginning of a dating relationship. There was even a guy that sat at the booth behind us and I thought, "hmmm, he seems like a nice guy (no, I have never seen this man in my life), I could date a nice guy like that. Have I gotten to a new point of desperation? It's very strange. But it's kind of fun too. I guess there's a part of me that's starting to feel better about myself and about what I want. I just question why this becoming so important to me? Do I really think I'm ready for something like that? I still have a lot of things to learn about me. Is now a good time to try to learn about someone else too? Feels like I'm venturing into uncharted territory. The sad thing still is . . . I don't even know where to begin. What's the next step? Any suggestions?

If I've gone through all of these emotions in just a few hours, what do I get to expect for the rest of the day? I'll guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there!

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