Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's been a whole week!

I cannot believe that I haven't updated this for a week. Not to mention that I haven't read any blogs either! This has got to change!!!

The good news . . . it looks like the scale is starting to come back down! YIPEE!! 169.5 today. I'll take it! Of course, I went camping this past weekend and worked my butt off! It was tough, but it was fun.

This past weekend was actually the wedding of a very close, dear, friend (and former roommate) of mine. It was a location wedding so there were several people there for the entire weekend. Some stayed in hotels, some in cabins, but Jacob and I stayed in a tent. Fun stuff - tons of work! I'd do it again in a heart beat. Yes, I would make some changes, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

The things I would've done differently bring me to the next order of business/concern. I have been experiencing something post WLS that concerns me. I used to be able to drink socially and not be too much trouble. Sure, I would be loud, giggly, and having a blast, but it never appeared to be a problem. Now, since WLS, I have noticed (on two separate occasions) that I will actually "Black-out" from alcohol consumption. I haven't figured out if it's what is being consumed, if it's an excessive amount, or if it just happens to be a few things. I have never, in my life (prior to WLS) drank so much that I would "black out". It is not a good or fun feeling. I never have believed in a true "black out" period, but now, I can't NOT believe in it. I seriously have NO recollection of what happened for a good chunk of time that night.

I feel like I jeopardized something. I'm not sure exactly what, but it's causing me grief. I feel that it's possible there are people who are disappointed in me. Most of all, I'm disappointed in myself. I know better. I was told that alcohol isn't the same for us WLSers anymore. I do drink the occasional beer here and there, but those occasions don't seem to affect me. It's the mixing that sends me over the edge and now I don't know what to do with it. Am I the only WLSer that has experienced this?

I hate that I have to be so real, and that this reality is negative right now. I have so many things happening in my life that I don't need to add this stress. But I did. And now I have to figure out if I need to fix it, should try to fix it, or just chalk it up to experience and move on? I feel haunted by this bad behavior and I am struggling now with how make it right or if it's even possible.

So, there's been some good news, and some bad news happening in my world. And there's oh so much more to share. I'll be back with a better update. I promise.

I hope all is well in blogland. I'll catch up with you all soon!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Time keeps on slipping . . .

Oh yes! It has happened again. The time has flown by and I haven't even watched it go by! I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Today is a check in/weigh in day. I JUST realized that I didn't even post anything last week. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I was up another 2 lbs last week. Yep, 173. But I am happy to report, that it's back down. Not as much as I'd like, but we're moving in the right direction. I was happy to see the 171 again. Now, on to the 165!!!!

So, next update . . . things at work have been really stressful. I don't even know how to talk about it. Most of the stress and frustration stems from one person. I have talked to my supervisor (the President of the company) several times. We've had meetings about the situation. Yet, still no fix. I don't know how to solve the problem without my leaving.

I must say, I have looked back into finishing the teacher credential program. I only have one year left. The only problem is that this would create a bit of financial hardship for a little while. Right now, I'm just needing to get some direction. I need to know what the best plan for me is. The only problem is that I'm the only one that can make that decision. Do you know how much easier life would be if people just made these decisions for us?

I will say, teaching is something I feel passionate about. I've always wanted to teach, I just keep letting things get in the way of this goal/dream. Am I going to let it happen again? Or am I going to push through and pursue the dream? I'll keep you posted!

Any teachers out there feel like "weighing in" on their thoughts?

I must admit, I feel like the stress at work is hindering my success in other areas of my life. So, if I move on, will I be better focused to take care of myself, my body, and my mind? It's definitely something I'd be interested in finding out.

I haven't kept up at all with blogs and I miss them so. I can't wait to take out some time for me and do my catching up. I hope all is well and I look forward to reading more about all my friends!

Happy Tuesday!!!!