Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Apparently technology has a "dumping syndrome" too!

Even though I did my weekly weigh in yesterday, I wasn't able to post my weekly report. Apparently Time Warner Cable had a huge mis-hap yesterday and we didn't have email or any type of Internet access for the entire day. Boy, did that make for a tough day!!!

So, the report is good! I was down another pound as of my weigh in yesterday. WOO HOO! So, maybe Micah is better for me than I had originally thought he would be. We're almost done with our "pre-paid" sessions and now I have to decide if I continue with the weekly sessions (which I really do think are helpful) or if I branch out on my own and take the chance. I will be putting some serious thought into this decision. I really do love that he provides me with exercises and techniques that are simple, but I just didn't think to do them. It's easier than just using the machines, but will I remember them all when he's gone? That's a tough one.

I'm actually doing pretty well, or so I think. I've been consistent with my exercise and my eating. Since my "dumping" episode, I've really been trying to watch what I put in my body. I'm making sure to get more water and protein in and I really think it's paying off. Once my body catches up with the exercise and gives me more energy I think I'll be doing pretty, stinkin, fabulous!!

I have to go out of town for training this week (Thursday and Friday). I'll be out of my normal routine (eating & exercising practices). I'm looking forward to the challenge, but I'm also nervous about being out of my comfort and forgetting things that are important (protein, water, vitamins, etc.). I guess you never know how you're going to fair until you stick your foot out there, huh?

So, here's me sticking my foot out there!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

A dumping we will go!

Yep! It's so true! I had my first "real" experience with the dumping syndrome last night. The crazy thing is that it's one of those "delayed reaction time" dumping syndrome deals (which tend to happen with sugar and fruit sugar products - so they say) and I was NOT expecting it. Had I known that this is what it was like, I wouldn't have tried so many things to "test" the actual tolerance of my system. Now, I know what it's like and I'm pretty sure I'll be keeping a good distance from the pumpkin empanadas (at least for now).

I'm not positive that this was the food that caused this horrible experience. Nor am I certain that it was the treat itself. It very well could've been that I had too much of this treat, and had I stopped with the first half, it wouldn't have happened at all. But then, I wouldn't have this oh, so, wonderful experience to look back on and KNOW that I never want to have this again!

So, I'm back to a world of healthful diligence. I spent pretty much the entire weekend being exhausted, sore, head achy, and grouchy (just ask my family). I'm pretty sure that was due to the over working out (Thanks a lot Micah) and the not eating the way that I should. So, let's bring it all back to the land of what I'm supposed to be doing and following through with what I know will work for me as opposed to trying it out because it MAY not have an effect on me.

I think I may need to do a little tweaking or toning down of the workout. I think it's possible that I'm just pushing too hard in order to see results more quickly. Unfortunately, this is leading to pain and discomfort. In all reality, every little bit of movement is going to help. I don't have to kill myself just to see the scales change. So, I will take it a little easier with the weights as to prevent the injury. I will continue with the cardio - because it feels good. But I don't have to climb the highest incline at the highest speed. I'm toning that down a notch too. Just for a little while, until I can get better with my nutrition (protein & water intake).

So, I'm focused. I'm motivated. I'm feeling better and working at never having to feel that again. YEAH!!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's a great day for a funny story, don't you think?

And I just so happen to have a funny story! At least I think it's funny.

So, all you C & P girls (Thank you for this term Jil - Whether your co-worker knows it or not, she's created quite a "fun" word for such a Wonderful group of people) will have to let me know if this happens to you. I'm only saying this because this isn't the first time it's happened to me.

On to the story . . . today at work I was having to clean out what I like to call the "crap closet". Well, a vendor (that usually comes by often but since we've been slow hasn't been around) was in the plant and he saw me walking by. He said to me, "Hey girl, how are you?" and at that point I just KNEW that he didn't remember my name. I politely responded with, "I'm good thanks" and wondered on my way. Then the gentleman came into the office and stopped me and at that point he remembered my name. He said, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!" Of course, I responded with, "Yep, I sure have." He then proceeded to tell me that he didn't recognize me outside and honestly had no idea that was me. Of course, he was being very complimentary and I accepted the compliments with a smile (which, if anyone knows me, is INCREDIBLY difficult for me to do).
Here's where the funny part comes in. He then went on to tell me that he's working hard and trying to lose weight too. He said he knows it takes a lot of work but sometimes he's too lazy or doesn't think about what he's doing or fails to follow through on weekends - and on, and on, and on as if I were his personal trainer or counselor and he needed to make up excuses as to why he hasn't lost weight. The reason this is so funny to be is because he's not the first person to do this! This seems to happen often times when I see someone that I haven't been around in a while. Now, we need to keep in mind that the people who are feeding me these excuses don't necessarily know that I went through the C & P procedure. I don't know if they would change their tune if they knew this information or not. Typically when people find out about that they say stupid, ignorant things like "you took the easy way out" or "it's easy for you" or some other bull that is totally untrue.

Go ahead. Spill it. Does this ever happen to you?

I wonder . . . if I hadn't been over 100 lbs over weight and only had about 20 - 30 to lose and did so, would I get the same response? Or, is it that it's just so noticeable and people KNOW how hard it is to lose so much weight (no matter which way you chose to save your life) so they want to feel like they can accomplish something too?

This is just something that struck me as funny and odd today. I look back to a year or two ago and wish I would've made myself more accountable when I saw the success of others. Unfortunately, at that point in my life, any expression or desire to succeed in the shadow of others was merely an expression without the passion to follow it up. I thank God every day for bringing me to that point of recognizing the desperation (so to speak) and helping me to realize that I could manage the journey, not without trial, but with love and encouragement and I'm so glad that I listened!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It moved! It moved!!!

That's RIGHT! The scale moved! YIPEE!!! I've got to say that the fact that the scale moved this morning (even though it was only one pound) was the bright spot in my day. The funny thing is that when I saw that the scale had moved, I was so excited that it didn't even occur to me that I had hit another "milestone" moment. It wasn't until I was going around updating my tickers that it hit me. Yes Sir! I have OFFICIALLY lost 90 lbs! Needless to say, that brightened my day even more.

I must admit, I have worked very, very hard for that pound! I successfully made it to the gym AND through full workouts 3 times last week, not including the Saturday afternoon roller skating, and Sunday afternoon softball tossing. I have also increased my water consumption as well as the protein consumption. Though, I still need to get more of that protein in! That has to be the toughest part of this journey for me! Oh yeah, and the carbs. Time for them to go. I let some bad stuff slip in and now I'm trying to cast those Carb demons out of my life!!

Thank you so much for your support, suggestions, and ideas. It's so much easier to NOT get discouraged when you know that there are people out there that have experienced the same thing and can offer suggestions as far as what they do. I can't tell you how much the "blogging" community contributes to my success! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Now, if I can make it through a torturous day at work, I should have a good evening. I have another session with little Micah, my personal trainer. I'm hoping he'll provide me with some more great tips and give me some good exercises to firm the jiggle. Here's hoping we all have an incredible week!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Maybe I'm crazy?

No really, that must be the explanation to my most recent trials.

First, I've ventured into the online dating scene. I hate dating. I do, I do. And, sadly, it's not getting any better. Where is that perfect guy? Not "THE" perfect guy, so much, but the "perfect guy for me"? I'm looking and so far, I think he must hate dating as much as I do because he's not come out of hiding yet.

So, I'm doing the online dating thing. For those of you who are not familiar with the way this works, you typically get guided (through various ways) along the lines of communication. Email, questions, short answers, etc. But, you have to express interest first. Most of the time I'll express interest just because you never know who's out there until you really meet them, right? Well, not all of them express interest back. And those that do, basically drop off after the first round of questions. This leads me to my most current question. What in the world am I doing that turns people off before the first meeting (and sometimes before the first real email)? Sure, it's probably best that they weed themselves out because I'm not sure I could handle 10 dates a weekend, but what if one of those was a "good catch"? Then they just swim off down stream without even a chance to meet me. What a shame.

I actually do think it's a little comical, to be completely honest. I am so not into finding the "soul mate" or looking for someone to "complete me", but I'm looking for fun, easy going, exciting people to have a friends and if more blossoms, then great. But if not, then we still can be friends - right? Besides, I don't need a mate to complete ME as a person, but I'd like to have someone to share ME with and I'd share HIM as well. Well, I think I'm quite possibly the only one who thinks that way. A lot of these men are looking for that "soul mate" and if the chemistry isn't there or if I'm not giving them the vibe that I'm going to marry them next week - they like to move on. It's interesting.

What a journey. It's a crazy life, but someone has to live it. And I just had to get that off my chest so you get to read about it and be a part of the craziness too!

How's that for a Valentine's Day story?? :-)
Lots of love to you on this Pre V-day Friday!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A woman on a mission!

Yes siree! I am on a mission to make this journey work for me!

As I shared yesterday, I had my first "personal training" session with cute little Micah at the In-Shape city. I call him cute, little , Micah because he's probably about 18 - 20 and has NO CLUE what life in the "real world" is like. All he has to worry about is exercise and going home to play with the boys. Ok, I'm being a tad dramatic, but it didn't seem like he had much knowledge about life experience, but he did have some good ideas from a muscular stand point. Sure, it almost killed me, but beauty is pain - right?

I shared with him that I had gastric bypass in May and had lost nearly 90 lbs (yes, I'm still pissed that I don't get to claim that officially yet). He said that he has another post WLSer and he's got him on a diet of 300 grams of protein. REALLY (thoughts of disbelief are running like a rampage in my head)? I don't believe you! AND I DON'T!!!! I struggle with getting 70 grams in and I TRY! So, unless this guy is getting protein intravenously fed into his system, I'm not buying that one. But, little Micah can dream, right? He just wants me to know that he can help a WLSer just as much as anyone. And, I will give him the chance to help me take away the sag and unwanted rolls - as long as he doesn't annoy the snot out of me.

Last night, we started slow -but it still kicked my butt, and abs, and thighs, and quads. We didn't work out for more than 30 minutes, but I seriously had legs of "jello" when we tried to walk down the stairs to leave. Um, I guess just an elliptical/cardio machine isn't enough for me.

So, off I go into a new world of weights and trainers. I'm just hoping and praying I see results before I pass out from over exhaustion and dehydration. I'll definitely have to work on that! Here's to a happy, healthy, hearty and now muscle bound "Heather".

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

When life gives you lemons, it had better realize that I don't drink lemonade anymore!!!!

I would love to report that today is a fabulous and happy day, but it's not. Not yet anyway.

Today, I stepped on the Wii Fit for my usual Tuesday morning weigh in. And much to my surprise I was the SAME! No joke. So, is that three weeks now that the scale hasn't moved AT ALL? Not even the .2 lbs that I didn't count last week. Yes, it's true, I'm getting frustrated. I will say that I was offered some great suggestions last week (thanks She & Kim H.) and I have already started them. I am drinking WATER. That's right! Not my "weakened" tea that I typically sip on all day, I've already downed a whole bottle of water this morning. Yeah me! I am also going to be getting real close with some protein supplements and really watching my intake. I just want the scale to move a little. Is that too much to ask? I think not.

Yesterday, I went and signed up for the gym. Again, Yeah me! In fact, in the process, I was offered 3 months free if I paid for personal training sessions (basically worked out to be the same price but I get training out of it). Who doesn't need personal training sessions with a fitness professional? Well, I am not one of those people. I'm actually really excited about it. My personal training starts TONIGHT!!!! So, I'm on my way to getting that scale moving - or at least firming up what I already have in hopes of burning off the jiggle. I'll report back tomorrow and let you know how it went.

My job has become really stressful in the last two months and I fear that this may be contributing to eating issues and the results on the scale. I'm not eating a LOT, but I have reverted to snacking because that's what I've done to alleviate stress in the past. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to NOT eat my emotions and it's starting to be a little bit easier. Let's hope sweating out the aggression at the gym really helps in this area also. I don't want to lose/give up my job, but I can't be unhappy and miserable with my work atmosphere either. Things will have to change.

There's my morning in a nutshell. Let's hope and pray that wonderful things happen today to make this day a success.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Because I'm curious . . .

My sister sent me a little "random question" note on Facebook and it sparked my interest. Sure, some of the questions were silly and simple, but fun. It made me think about how many questions I have in my head that I am truly curious to ask others about and I just never ask. So, I decided to post up a random question survey on my blog and see if anyone answers it. It may seem silly but trust me, I really do want to know what you think. We can treat this like a "tag" situation also. So, you can copy the questions and (if you feel comfortable sharing) post them on your blog for my pleasure (and that of many others, I'm sure).

Here are my questions (and answers):

1.) What is the most off the wall or funny excuse that you’ve ever heard?
A: Just this morning the teacher at the daycare was late and I'm sure she could tell I was frustrated by her tardiness so she tried to make conversation by asking, "Was it hailing for you?" Trying to make it seem like the hail is what made her late. I said, "No, is it hailing here? I live across the street"

2.) Do you dance like crazy when no one is looking?
A: Are you kidding? I dance around like a kid with his first sparkler!

3.) What do you do when you know the person in the next car is looking at you?
A: I actually start laughing and act like I'm having a great conversation even if I'm all by myself. I'm a goofball!

4.) What (seemingly) popular word or phrase drives you crazy or makes you cringe??
A: LOL - not so much the written text, but when people actually SAY "L O L"???? What is that all about?

5.) Did you have a favorite toy/item when you were a kid?
A: Yep. The kitchen! And boy did I make messes!

6.) Do you prefer card games or board games? What’s your all-time favorite?
A: I'd have to say cards (though I like all sorts of board games). My favorite would have to be Canasta (it was my first card love).

7.) When you are alone what do you most enjoy doing?
A: Being alone!!!! It happens rarely. I actually enjoy baking when I'm alone. Then, of course, it gives me a reason not to be alone because I'll typically take the dish somewhere to be shared!

8.) What is the first thing you do when you get up every morning?
A: I get a pair of underwear out of my drawer (practically in my sleep) and stumble to the bathroom.

9.) What topics of conversation make you most uncomfortable?
A: Politics/Religion - when someone thinks/knows they are right and can't accept differing opinions. That's irritating. We all have an opinion and we don't have to accept others as our own, but we do have to respect that others don't see things exactly as we expect them to. Right?

10.) What is the most rewarding experience you’ve ever had?
A: I must say having a child having a child tops my list but the process of the WLS and finding myself in this last 9 months comes in a close second.

How would you answer??

Not your typical Friday . . .

I typically like to update my successes on Friday. Today, I'm sad to report that I don't feel the successes right now. I'm just in a bit of a funk today. It's been a very tough week but a decent week at the same time.

I have been dealing with issues of snacking. I don't think I'm truly hungry, but my body/brain is telling me that I am. I have this insatiable feeling that I have to fill and then I'll take a few bites of something (sometimes a little bit more) and it's NOT what I want. But the problem is that the feeling comes back just a little while later. I found myself going CRAZY on Wednesday. It was as if I couldn't stop and I couldn't figure it out. Then, I realized, I was eating/craving/wanting out of stress. I wanted something to take away the feelings I was dealing with and in the past food was my friend and would make it all go away (if only for a short while). But now, I don't have that! I need to stop feeding my feelings and acting like I don't have to solve the problem. I DO have to solve the problem. This is a new task and challenge for me and I will face it fully.

The good news is that this behavior didn't carry over to Thursday and I haven't had these feelings today either. Maybe it was just the frustration of the job/co-workers? Stress of disappointment due to the non-moving scale? Fear that I've hit the stopping point of weight loss before I'm ready. Whatever it was/or is, it needs to be faced and dealt with. That is my intention. I will look this demon in the face and punch it's lights out!

I've also decided that I need a "picture" or a vision of what I'm working toward. Unfortunately, I've never been there, so I don't know what the vision will be like. I'm already so much farther than I thought I would be. I don't even recognize myself. But I want to not recognize myself more. I just need to be able to see it. This is another thing I will be working towards. I'll have to get really creative on this one.

On the happier side of things, I've got a few things to look forward to (I'm with Laurie, I like bullets too):
  • I'm going to be checking in with the local gym in the next week or so. This should help me on so many levels - and my son is excited about going too.
  • I have a date tomorrow afternoon with a doctor! Yep, I'm a little intimidated, but excited at the same time.
  • I've got a few celebrations this month and I'm looking forward to February being a healthier and better month than January.
  • I've got to take some pictures! As of February 22, it's been 9 months since my ride began!
So, when the funk subsides, I've got some serious things to focus on! Time to dance it all away! Care to join me?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I've been tagged . . .

I've been tagged on one of my favorite blogs, to do this lovely little quiz...
For this one, the rules are simple - list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! Then tag 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap Award.
So here goes...
10 Honest Things about Me

1) I still hate shopping even though I'm able to go almost anywhere (that is NOT a "fat lady" store) and find something that will fit me. I so want to have more clothes to wear and be flattered by, but I just HATE shopping so much that I will deal with my 2 pair of jeans and 2 pair of dress pants until I can overcome this hate/phobia.

2) There are so many blogs that I read faithfully and get something out of that I get sad if the bloggers don't post every day because then I feel like I'm missing out on something. It's crazy, I know. I wish that my blogger friends lived close to me so we could be "real" friends. I am so inspired by all of you!

3) I have to overcome a certain sadness about the fact that I can't drink Dr. Pepper anymore. I was truly addicted to Dr. Pepper and now I can't handle any carbonation at all. It's sad.

4) There is a huge part of me that would love to be able to "work from home" and there's another part of me that is afraid that if I did have a job that I could do "from home" I wouldn't be happy with that either.

5) I want to start dating (so I think) but I have such a hard time with the awkwardness of initial meetings that I'm not successful at dating at all. How do you meet someone that you don't have to feel awkward around? Dating sucks!

6) I want to have plastic surgery to remove my excess skin and lift the boobs that used to be there, but I feel like I have to decide if I want more kids first. The problem is, how do you feel sexy and find the guy to marry and have kids when you've got saggy skin and boobs? Then, if I did get plastics and decide to have another child is all that money, pain, surgery wasted?? What a dilemma!

7) I sold my Eliptical machine to my sister yesterday. Now, I have to join a gym so I can get some weight training in. Too bad I don't have the money yet. So, I just gave myself another reason not to workout.

8) I have recently (in the last two months) joined two dating websites and I check them constantly to see if anyone has expressed interest but I'm not very quick to respond when they do. Can we say "sabotage"?

9) I think both of my sisters are beautiful and I don't tell them enough. I think it's strange that they are in the same dating/meeting people predicament as I am. How does that happen?

10) I laugh hysterically when someone trips, walks into things, or falls. Of course, I want to make sure they are ok. I don't know why this is so funny to me, but it is.

Now here's the part where I tag others:


Cathy (Mom)


Gary (Dad)



The Lurker (or anyone else who'd like to join in).

I can't wait to see what you have to say!

Happy day to you all!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

It's real . . . my weigh in story!

This morning was Wii Fit weigh in day. In all honesty, I didn't want to get on the scale at all. I think this is the FIRST time that I've had that feeling in almost 9 months. But I had it. I had this feeling because I knew that it was not going to be down. It's funny because I think that I can "feel" when my body is changing and my weight is shifting, but right now, my body isn't doing anything. Sure, I feel like I've been hungry more often. I feel like I have been eating/snacking a lot more and that all has to change. But I can tell that my body isn't going anywhere - even with the additional exercise and motivation.

So, the verdict was . . . I had lost .2 pounds. I don't even count that. I only count a loss if it is a half or more. So, when I've lost .7 - it still only counts as .5. I know, it's crazy, but that's just how I work. So, I am technically the same. 180. I so want to be in the 170s. I really want to be 175 because that's something that I've looked to as being a good number. But my body is apparently not in agreement with my head about that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about the fact that I am the smallest I've ever been in my life. I'm just sad that it's stopping and I'm afraid that I won't be making my goal at this rate. So, I will just try harder. Focus more on what is going into my mouth and make sure that I'm making the right choices. Can it really decide to stop so soon? I won't sit back and let that happen - without a fight at least!

So, I have decided to sell my elliptical machine to my sister and join a gym. What she'll give me for the machine will just about cover a year worth of gym fees. I had decided that the cardio alone will not be working anymore. I need to get some muscle tone and I'll need to be lifting and using weights in order to make this happen. So, I'm biting the bullet, and I'm making a decision to get my gym membership. The good thing is that my son will LOVE going to the gym! Of course, we won't be going to Foster's Freeze for ice cream afterward (like we used to) but I'm sure he'll love the interaction just as much as I do!

The good news is that there's a support group meeting tonight at my surgeons office. Coming together with people that have "been there, done that" can be really encouraging. I'm sure this will pick up my spirits and show me that I can do this!!!

That's the update for the day. I really hope I will get to report some good news on the scale front soon. I feel like it's been much too long since I've reported something significant. Someday . . . .