My first confession . . . I'm not exercising. I would like to say that I'm not exercising like I should be, but that would imply that I'm doing some sort of exercising at all. Sure, I could count doing dishes or folding laundry, but lets be honest, is that really exercise? No. It's necessity. I don't even walk my son to school anymore. Yes, for many months I've been way too busy (in my head) to exercise and that was a great excuse for a while. Not anymore. I'm on summer vacation. There is NO excuse for me (even though I still tend to create them).
Let's be honest, I love exercise - when it's a regular part of my life. When I've allowed my laziness to set in and become sedentary, it's really difficult to get back into the swing of things. I KNOW I feel better when I exercise, I know that things are easier to manage (like eating and sleeping) when I'm in the habit, it's just getting back into the habit that's creating a challenge.
Confession #2 - I'm not eating as well as I should be. I've been home and I love to play in the kitchen. This makes for a little bit of a struggle because I will eat the things I create. Sure, I'm still controlled in my portions, but I haven't been controlling my intake. I need to focus my energy to getting back to the program! I eat crap and I feel like crap, but I do it anyway. I don't like that. I need to get back to the basics of my personal plan and get back to the feeling of greatness.
Confession # 3 - I've gained about 13 pounds in this last semester and this is NOT acceptable! My clothes are getting tight, my body is starting to protrude, my self esteem is starting to falter a bit. Sure, if I had kept to my end of the bargain and been exercising, eating better, and focusing on me, I wouldn't be in this predicament. But, in an effort to set myself free - I'm sharing.
Confession # 4 - Finally, a positive confession - I am taking my vitamins, getting my protein in, drinking my water, and keeping myself real. I have weaknesses and I'm trying to work on them, but recognizing that I'm still doing what I need to in order to be healthier than I was two years ago is a big plus in my book.
I am not confessing in an attempt to get attention or to get people to realize that I've screwed up or even to brutalize myself, but I'm stating these things as a point of accountability. I know that I'm not doing everything I should be and I need to get this out in the open so that I can make changes and get the results I want. I want the motivation! I want the success! I want to know that I've got it!!! So, this is my therapy! I figure, if I post it and think that people will ask me about my progress and encourage me to do the right thing, than I will be stupid if I don't hold up my end of the bargain. So, whether it gets read or not, I am holding myself accountable!
So, to start myself off into positive changes, I've made goals for myself! These goals are as follows:
Today I will . . .
- Go for a walk. It may be warm outside, but it'll be great to get out!
- Make healthier meal choices by cutting out carbs (chips & Kettle corn) and putting in great lean proteins and veggies
- Stop snacking and start asking questions like, "Do I really need to eat or am I just bored?"
- Be positive! Know that I am 100% better physically, emotionally and mentally than I was two years ago
- Read at least one more chapter in the book recommended by the psychologist at my surgeons office. (The book is called "Women, Food, and God" - anyone read it?)
- Get ready to report my successes tomorrow!
The honeymoon is officially over and the rest is up to me!!!