Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The verdict is in . . .

I really do wish I could post good news today. Unfortunately, I received a call this morning that I wasn't selected for the position. I so appreciate that I had so much encouragement, prayers, and well wishes. That really made me feel good, confident, and successful.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that when a "door" closes, another will open. So, I am taking this disappointment as a minor set back and I have to have faith that this didn't work out because I am supposed to be somewhere else. I must admit, this one hurt. But I need to realize that it wasn't because I wasn't the best I could be. I just wasn't the right fit this time.

The principal did tell me that there were 250 applicants for this one position. He narrowed it down to 12 for the first round of interviews and I got selected as one of the top three. He mentioned that this was an incredibly difficult decision because the top three were really, really good. He said that he was going to forward my information to every school in his district and if a position came open at his school, it would be mine. So, that has to be a good thing, right?

I'm not going to lie, I've been on an emotional roller coaster over this one. There's a huge part of me that wants to know what that "it" factor was. Was there anything I could've or should've said differently? But at the same time, I left the interview yesterday being scared to death that I would get the position. I know that sounds strange, but lets be honest . . . this will be my first year as a teacher. Could I live up to the high standards and expectations that the principal and the school have? Would I be the best, absolute best, for these students? I don't know - because I've never done it before. There's a good chance that the person that was selected has proof that they know exactly what they are doing and can produce outstanding results. I plan to have those one day, but this principal would've had to take a chance on me for that. I can do it, I know I can, but I'm intimidated and even a little scared. That's normal, right?

So, back to the drawing board for me. I will keep praying that the right position, school, district, etc. comes along. And we'll hope and pray that happens before I pull all my hair out. I don't have much to begin with. :-)

Now, on to something positive . . . I slept last night! Yes sir! I didn't wake up at my usual 3:30am. I even forgot to set my alarm and woke up 10 minutes later than I normally do. Whopee! I do hate having insomnia, but I sure do love the days after - when I sleep like a rock!

Today is a new day. No, huge, obligations and a possible play date for the little one. I'm ready to turn this day around. Just because it started with bad news, doesn't mean it has to end that way, right? Thank you for allowing me the vent session. I look forward to having a some more positive things to report tomorrow!

Wishing you all a very happy day!


Laurie ( said...

Well, while this sucks, at the same time you're right. It just wasn't meant to be.. And knowing that you can get this person's recommendation for other openings means a lot as well! :)

Good luck!!!

Have a happy day as well! :)

Janine said...

Yup you are so right, it just means that this was not the right one and that the right job for you will be there when you are absolutely 100% ready!!!

Congrats on beating 246 other people to the second interview, that rocks!!!

Sarah said...

Sorry you didn't get it but you're right, something else will come along.


Jil said...

I have been thinking about you since yesterday when I read this post (clearly I am super timely with my but seriously...your journey in many ways has just begun and your first teaching position, wherever that may be, will color your future in education in many ways, both expected and surprising. God's plan for us rarely falls in line with our ideas for what we think it should be.

Perhaps down the road, after you have some experience and have learned some things about yourself, your own classroom techniques and your relationships with students have been honed, this school will once again come into your sights.

Give yourself some time...the right experience for you will come along, it always does. In the meantime...know that God does have a plan for you...and it far exceeds any plans or dreams you may have for yourself.

Life is good.


*Tracy* said...

sorry you didnt get the job but something right for you will come along! stay positive even though its hard. take care