I'll get by with a little help from my friends . . .

Thank you Laurie & Jil for your encouragement! We CAN do this! It's really fun to know that I've got the support even if you are hundreds of miles away. Are there any teaching jobs in Texas?? ;-)

So, I must say that I felt successful yesterday. As soon as I posted, I knew I had to do what I could to make it! Let's be honest, the goals weren't difficult, just something that needed to be done. Had I not posted, I may have just let them slip by. I'm SO glad I didn't let that happen!

So, my accomplishments yesterday included:

• 2.5 mile walk, in the sun, beautiful day - if felt great
• yummy salad for lunch, chicken breast for dinner (all low carbs)
• positive attitude (the walk did help)
• read 1/2 a chapter in the book - once the family was around it was hard to stay focused
• Water, Water, Water!
• Reporting my success (ok, that's happening today, but I was ready yesterday)

So, today, I'm focused and ready to keep this up. Here are the goals for today:

• complete a 30 minute (at least) workout - no matter if it's a video, jog, bike ride, etc. Just 30 minutes of activity.
• Finish the chapter in the book.
• Stay positive and focused (Laurie's Thursday 13 started that off on the right note) :-)
• Healthy eating and plenty of protein
• WATER & MORE WATER

Sure, these are like mini-goals, but it's funny how important they can be. So, as I get these goals mastered, I'll start to focus on bigger and better things. For right now, it's about getting back to the basics.

There are so many other things that I feel like I would like to get off my chest, but I'm just not sure where or how to start. I figure if I can get myself back into the swing of things, I'll be able to sort out my feelings, questions, frustrations, etc., and get to the bottom of the craziness that I know and face.

Looking forward to reading many successes!

The truth will set you free!

If it's true that the "truth" will set you free, I imagine I'm in the need of a few confessions! Sure, it's not fun to admit, but it's something I must come to terms with. We'll call it therapy! So, get ready, the unloading begins now!

My first confession . . . I'm not exercising. I would like to say that I'm not exercising like I should be, but that would imply that I'm doing some sort of exercising at all. Sure, I could count doing dishes or folding laundry, but lets be honest, is that really exercise? No. It's necessity. I don't even walk my son to school anymore. Yes, for many months I've been way too busy (in my head) to exercise and that was a great excuse for a while. Not anymore. I'm on summer vacation. There is NO excuse for me (even though I still tend to create them).

Let's be honest, I love exercise - when it's a regular part of my life. When I've allowed my laziness to set in and become sedentary, it's really difficult to get back into the swing of things. I KNOW I feel better when I exercise, I know that things are easier to manage (like eating and sleeping) when I'm in the habit, it's just getting back into the habit that's creating a challenge.

Confession #2 - I'm not eating as well as I should be. I've been home and I love to play in the kitchen. This makes for a little bit of a struggle because I will eat the things I create. Sure, I'm still controlled in my portions, but I haven't been controlling my intake. I need to focus my energy to getting back to the program! I eat crap and I feel like crap, but I do it anyway. I don't like that. I need to get back to the basics of my personal plan and get back to the feeling of greatness.

Confession # 3 - I've gained about 13 pounds in this last semester and this is NOT acceptable! My clothes are getting tight, my body is starting to protrude, my self esteem is starting to falter a bit. Sure, if I had kept to my end of the bargain and been exercising, eating better, and focusing on me, I wouldn't be in this predicament. But, in an effort to set myself free - I'm sharing.

Confession # 4 - Finally, a positive confession - I am taking my vitamins, getting my protein in, drinking my water, and keeping myself real. I have weaknesses and I'm trying to work on them, but recognizing that I'm still doing what I need to in order to be healthier than I was two years ago is a big plus in my book.

I am not confessing in an attempt to get attention or to get people to realize that I've screwed up or even to brutalize myself, but I'm stating these things as a point of accountability. I know that I'm not doing everything I should be and I need to get this out in the open so that I can make changes and get the results I want. I want the motivation! I want the success! I want to know that I've got it!!! So, this is my therapy! I figure, if I post it and think that people will ask me about my progress and encourage me to do the right thing, than I will be stupid if I don't hold up my end of the bargain. So, whether it gets read or not, I am holding myself accountable!

So, to start myself off into positive changes, I've made goals for myself! These goals are as follows:

Today I will . . .

• Go for a walk. It may be warm outside, but it'll be great to get out!
• Make healthier meal choices by cutting out carbs (chips & Kettle corn) and putting in great lean proteins and veggies
• Stop snacking and start asking questions like, "Do I really need to eat or am I just bored?"
• Be positive! Know that I am 100% better physically, emotionally and mentally than I was two years ago
• Read at least one more chapter in the book recommended by the psychologist at my surgeons office. (The book is called "Women, Food, and God" - anyone read it?)
• Get ready to report my successes tomorrow!

The honeymoon is officially over and the rest is up to me!!!

Life, as I know it, is officially coming to an end.

No, No, No, I'm not on my death bed or anything of that nature, but I am moving forward and running (quickly and fiercely) away from the life of a student with no free time to speak of! YES! It's true! All of the tests have been taken (and passed), the unit has been completed, the graduation has happened, and I have been educated! I am one exit interview and an email away from being a California Credentialed Teacher. OH NO! If you have kids in California, watch out!!!!

I have been through a very exciting experience and I am looking forward to the great experiences my new found education will produce. And I can't wait to get my own classroom! Of course, that's the difficult part right now. This may not be the best time to get into education with all of the things going on. Fortunately, I am hopeful, optimistic, and excited about the adventure.

I am also excited about the free time I will have over the summer to jump into the lives and experiences of my bloggy friends. Oh, have I missed hearing things. I am so sad to have missed wedding celebrations, engagements, new babies, new pregnancies, new marathon trainers, and new pet additions. So CONGRATULATIONS to you ALL! I do feel so out of the loop. I know, I know, I said this in the last post too, but I wasn't quite finished at that point. Now, I'm ready! I'm ready to embrace the blog world and get the support and encouragement I desperately need from all of you. So, get ready, the comments will be flying! I hope you can keep up!! :-)

On another note, I have been so busy and overwhelmed with the completion of school and tests that I completely skipped over my 2 YEAR SURGIVERSARY! I never, ever, ever thought that I would skim over that day and not be able to reflect on all that WLS has given me, but in only two years - it happened. Fortunately, I get to reflect on the WLS results nearly every day and I will never forget what this has given to me.

So, now you're slightly updated. I will be creating another post soon to relay more of the happenings, but I just had to get back into the swing of things before I could overwhelm you (and myself) with the "good stuff".

So, happy Tuesday to you all! I'm wishing you a fantastic day!!

It can't be true . . .

Has it really been 5 -6 months since I've written? Yep! It's the truth! So, let's get all caught up!

Thanks to spring break, I have a moment to catch you up. First of all, thank you so much for the messages/comments. I can't tell you how special I feel to know that there is someone (or someones) that are curious about me. I'm so curious about what's going on in your lives also. I miss my blogland community. I do. I didn't realize how much support I've gotten from all of you bloggers. It's truly an inspiration and I need it back!!!

My life has flipped upside down. Who knew that unemployment was so busy! But, it's been a good thing for me. I am almost finished with my teaching credential and now, I'm praying to have a job this fall. This is all great news, but it also means I'm incredibly busy! I leave the house at about 7am and don't return until about 8:30 or 9:00pm. It's madness, but it's fun too. Since I've been in the classroom, I know that's exactly where I should be. It's my "calling".

So, that's what's been taking up a good chunk of my life. That being said, I can tell you what has taken the back seat . . . my exercise and eating. Oh yeah! It's true. It scares me to death. I've gained about 10 pounds since the stress began and I need it to STOP! So, I've taken some action. I'm back on the protein and I'm trying to move! I'll have a lot more time when school is out. Finally! Or at least that's what I'm thinking.

So, that is me, for now. I'm planning to have more time to keep up a blog and keep myself accountable very, very soon.

Happy Wednesday!

Do things ever really work out as we plan them to?

I'm beginning to think that things work out how they work out regardless of our plan. This may not be a bad thing, but for the planners, it's not a good thing either.

We, my son and I, were supposed to go out of town for a fun weekend with friends from Southern California. I had made arrangements to stay, called all of the people I wanted to see, and started to pack my bags. I haven't seen these folks in a while. Then . . . it happened. The poor little one got sick and I had to scrap it all. I'm sure it's all for the best, but it's just a little disappointing. Now, what is supposed to happen to make it all worth it?

So, I did go to the support group I spoke of on Monday night. It was a good time of sharing and getting to know some new people. I will say, for the first time, I was dumbfounded when one of the other support group attendees asked me what it was like being "normal" or "normal sized". I thought, "what? Who are you talking to?" When I realized she thought *I* was the normal sized person, I almost laughed. I still don't see it. Strange, isn't it? I still think they are just making 12's and 10's bigger these days. Why can't I see it? Why can't I feel it? Will I ever?

So, I've made a new goal for myself. I purchased the book, "Joining the Thin Club" months ago. I think it's time that I whip that "bad boy" out and get to reading. I could use some eye opening right about now. So, I NOW plan to tackle the book this weekend and see what kinds of improvements are going to hit me upside the head.

Has anyone out there read the book? Is it helpful? Wonderful? Worth the read? Do you have any other suggestions for helping with the mental case of weight loss and the after effects of it?

As far as the rest of life, things are still seeming to do well. I am looking forward to a good weekend full of healing (on the part of the child) and relaxing (this one is for me). I hope the weekend proves to be wonderful for all!

Happy Friday!!

Well goodness!

Well hello there cyber world! It's been a long time! Trust me, the delay has never been my intention. It's strange how I seem to be busier in unemployment than I was when working full time! Who knew?

The good news is . . . things are going well! I must admit, I realize that I need the "cyber"community and my blog friends. I find that I get out of touch with reality and what I need to focus on when I'm not keeping up. Soooo . . . I am going to make a date (since real dating doesn't seem to be my friend) with myself at least twice a week to blog and catch up on your ever interesting lives! I haven't picked the days as of yet, but I will do that soon! And I need to keep it up.

I will be attending a WLS Support group through my surgeons office tonight. I'm really excited to be going, but very sad that they aren't offered more regularly. They haven't had a meeting since August. Not much support, huh? Let's hope it is fabulous and I have tons of great things to go by and even share.

I am LOVING my classes, my student teaching and the direction my life is going in right now. Though I had to live through some tough times and a LOT of stress, I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Let's just pray that the jobs are lining up for me next year! I cannot wait to start!

My weight is still a bit of a battle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining one iota! But, I'd still be interested in getting to that "goal" I had originally set of 160 lbs. It may not be in the cards for me, but it's certainly a challenge that I look forward to achieving, one day!

I still feel healthier than ever - and that's a wonderful thing! I still think I have a jaded sense of who I am and what I look like. I may need to seek some counseling to get that set straight, but I'm certainly making it a mission to get it all figured out.

I have gotten some great emails and comments that let me know you're still looking in on me. Thank you so much! I must say, it means a lot to me. Now, it's my turn to do the same! Don't be surprised if you start hearing from me!

Happy Monday to you all!!!!

And I thought not blogging for a week was a big deal?

HELLO!!! It's me! I love that the last item I posted was commenting on the fact that I haven't blogged in over a week. I guess I was trying to shoot for a month this time? Well . . . I didn't make it!!! Whew!!!!

Boy! Has life given me a run for my money or what? Shall I catch you up? Let's do bullets . . .

• Things at work didn't get better. I had let my boss know that if things didn't change or even appear to change that I would no longer be able to work in those conditions.
• I have been unemployed as of Friday, August 24, 2009. I've never been unemployed in my entire adult life and it's scary as all get out. I can say that it was self-induced, but that doesn't mean it's easy.
• I have officially gone back to school to finish what I started so long ago. I will be a California Credentialed Teacher by May 2010! And hopefully have a job/contract by next Fall! I feel good about it.
• My son started 1st grade and he's so advanced that he's bored. We're working on that and I've told his teacher that she has my full support - especially since I will be needing the experience.
• My weight is still about the same. I go from 168 - 171 on a fairly regular basis. I want to kick something into gear because I want to see and feel 160 - maybe even 150's? If it doesn't happen, I'm ok with that. But I want to at least try.
• I've made it my goal to find a gym to join here in Fresno (hopefully this weekend). I haven't been to a gym since I have moved (June, 2009) and I think it's really taking it's toll on me, not only physically but emotionally as well. Who knew that so much stress would be associated with resigning your job?

So, in a nutshell, I've had some serious changes take place over the last few weeks. I was overwhelmed, then got a bit depressed, but now, I see the good that will be coming of it all. I guess you never know what life has in store for you until you take the necessary leaps and jump out of the window!

I will say that I'm excited about having time to find out about myself and about what I want. I am determined to take care of myself. I will be better able to focus on myself and really focus on what I want out of life and step away from the things that I don't want.

I have missed the blogland community and now I don't have to worry about being blocked from work!!! So, watch out friends . . . the comments will be pouring in! I'm so excited to get back into what exciting things are happening in your lives!