Everyday I attempt to start the day out fresh and new with energy and motivation. Sadly, somewhere between 9am and 12:00pm that energy and motivation are gone! Now, where in the world am I supposed to go to get that back?
It's no surprise (to the people around me) that my place of work has taken a turn from what it has been. That turn has not been on a positive note. We, fortunately, aren't being hit with the threat of laying people off (just yet), but the attitudes and the people are just getting to be unbearable. What in the world do you do when you have a stable job, but you just can't stand to be there? This is what I'm dealing with right now. It's tough.
The problem with these issues is that it's making the rest of my world crumble. I'm stressed out, unhappy, and struggling to be here every day. These feelings/emotions are taking a toll on me physically, mentally and nutritionally. I'm going back to old habits because that's what I know (or think I know) will ease the pain. Not only does it NOT ease the stress/pain/etc., it's making things worse because now I feel like another part of my life is out of control.
I need to gain control. I need to situate things in my world. I need to get back to a state of happiness. I've always said (in my career) that when it's not fun anymore, it's time to look for something else. I think it's time to look for something else.
I have put in an application at a local children's hospital, but I don't really have medical experience. I do know someone that is close to the position and that may help, but you just never know.
I've actually been, seriously, considering biting the bullet and going back to school. I am one year away from a teaching credential and teaching is something that I feel I have a great passion for and I, personally, think I'd be pretty good at it. I've already completed one semester of part time student teaching and it was a great experience. The problem with that option is that it will be very tough to make it financially with school, not having a stable income, and supporting my family. But, I can't stop thinking about that being the best option.
No matter what goes on, I need to regain control. I need to know that I can make it through this. I need to feel like I will succeed and I will not let the stress and emotions get the best of me. I need focus!
I will say, the early morning walks with my sister are a great help. It gets me moving early in the morning and actually gets me better equipped for the day. I need to kick it up a bit, but I have do admit, it's a great place to start!
Aren't you glad it's pre-Friday???
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