Life, as I know it, is officially coming to an end.

No, No, No, I'm not on my death bed or anything of that nature, but I am moving forward and running (quickly and fiercely) away from the life of a student with no free time to speak of! YES! It's true! All of the tests have been taken (and passed), the unit has been completed, the graduation has happened, and I have been educated! I am one exit interview and an email away from being a California Credentialed Teacher. OH NO! If you have kids in California, watch out!!!!

I have been through a very exciting experience and I am looking forward to the great experiences my new found education will produce. And I can't wait to get my own classroom! Of course, that's the difficult part right now. This may not be the best time to get into education with all of the things going on. Fortunately, I am hopeful, optimistic, and excited about the adventure.

I am also excited about the free time I will have over the summer to jump into the lives and experiences of my bloggy friends. Oh, have I missed hearing things. I am so sad to have missed wedding celebrations, engagements, new babies, new pregnancies, new marathon trainers, and new pet additions. So CONGRATULATIONS to you ALL! I do feel so out of the loop. I know, I know, I said this in the last post too, but I wasn't quite finished at that point. Now, I'm ready! I'm ready to embrace the blog world and get the support and encouragement I desperately need from all of you. So, get ready, the comments will be flying! I hope you can keep up!! :-)

On another note, I have been so busy and overwhelmed with the completion of school and tests that I completely skipped over my 2 YEAR SURGIVERSARY! I never, ever, ever thought that I would skim over that day and not be able to reflect on all that WLS has given me, but in only two years - it happened. Fortunately, I get to reflect on the WLS results nearly every day and I will never forget what this has given to me.

So, now you're slightly updated. I will be creating another post soon to relay more of the happenings, but I just had to get back into the swing of things before I could overwhelm you (and myself) with the "good stuff".

So, happy Tuesday to you all! I'm wishing you a fantastic day!!

Well goodness!

Well hello there cyber world! It's been a long time! Trust me, the delay has never been my intention. It's strange how I seem to be busier in unemployment than I was when working full time! Who knew?

The good news is . . . things are going well! I must admit, I realize that I need the "cyber"community and my blog friends. I find that I get out of touch with reality and what I need to focus on when I'm not keeping up. Soooo . . . I am going to make a date (since real dating doesn't seem to be my friend) with myself at least twice a week to blog and catch up on your ever interesting lives! I haven't picked the days as of yet, but I will do that soon! And I need to keep it up.

I will be attending a WLS Support group through my surgeons office tonight. I'm really excited to be going, but very sad that they aren't offered more regularly. They haven't had a meeting since August. Not much support, huh? Let's hope it is fabulous and I have tons of great things to go by and even share.

I am LOVING my classes, my student teaching and the direction my life is going in right now. Though I had to live through some tough times and a LOT of stress, I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Let's just pray that the jobs are lining up for me next year! I cannot wait to start!

My weight is still a bit of a battle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining one iota! But, I'd still be interested in getting to that "goal" I had originally set of 160 lbs. It may not be in the cards for me, but it's certainly a challenge that I look forward to achieving, one day!

I still feel healthier than ever - and that's a wonderful thing! I still think I have a jaded sense of who I am and what I look like. I may need to seek some counseling to get that set straight, but I'm certainly making it a mission to get it all figured out.

I have gotten some great emails and comments that let me know you're still looking in on me. Thank you so much! I must say, it means a lot to me. Now, it's my turn to do the same! Don't be surprised if you start hearing from me!

Happy Monday to you all!!!!

This one is for Liza and an update on the 30 for 30!

It's FRIDAY!!!! Finally!!!

So, Liza had asked a question about "what's C&P". Well, several months ago, when I had just started to explore the blog world and really get into this WONDERFUL blogging community, I had stumbled upon JustJil's Blog - which I LOVE! Anyway, she had shared a story about a co-worker and the co-worker said something incredibly questionable. Jil's post made me want to own up to the idea of being a C&P girl and really embrace it - even though it was meant to discount those who choose surgery. I am with Jil - it's tough, it's a difficult process, it's SO much more difficult than others think. Here's a link to the blog http://justjil.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/i-am-only-a-paper-girl-living-in-a-paper-world/- you should read it, if you get a chance. Jil is AMAZING! Just like so many of my other blog friends! So, Liza, in just a few short days, you'll be a C & P girl too!!!! We're definitely going to have to arrange a party!!!!! I would LOVE to actually meet you all!

Now, on to business! I've successfully completed 3 days of incorporating at least 30 minutes of exercise into my day! It's been a little tough, due to recent stress and emotion, but it feels good to be sticking to it in spite of the drama! I only made it to the gym once (day 1), but Wednesday I did a little Hip Hop abs (which was a riot), and last night I pulled out the old Tae Bo video! I had actually missed that! Now, I don't typically dedicate time to working out on the weekends but I will be doing that over this 30 day period. So, I'm certain some trips to the park, the roller rink, and the golf course are in order! :-) I'm going to complete this challenge if it kills me (which it won't because it's good for me! Thanks Laurie, for the inspiration! You're doing GREAT too!!!!

I'm looking forward to a good weekend. There is a lot that needs to be accomplished and I'm going to try to keep it all in perspective. My life is going to take on some serious changes that I'm not so sure that I'm ready for, but it will be good in the long run - so I hope. I'm sure I'll be venting about it soon enough! Until then, I hope all is well and I look forward to catching up with everyone soon (work has been crazy which really cuts into my blog reading)!

My theories are crap . . . and other emotional revelations/ramblings

Yep! I said it. I was so proud of myself over the last few weeks. See, I have been surrounded by sick people since the beginning of the year. Then, I thought that maybe I wasn't getting sick because I have become a well vitamined - healthy machine. I even told people that I thought I wasn't getting sick because I fell almost "over vitamined" per surgeons recommendations (just as any post-WLS person is vitamined). Well, that was crap! The only reason that I say this is because I think I'm getting sick. YUCK! I'm not a good "sick" person. Don't get me wrong, I'm still fighting this battle, but I'm just hoping and praying that I win!

In other news . . . The scale was the same again today. Sure, I can definitely chalk this one up to not feeling well. I skipped the gym last night and I'm skipping the gym (and my session w/ Micah) tonight as well. If it's true that rest and liquids can heal the sick, then that is what I will do! I do feel that resting last night helped the illness, but I don't think it helped the scale! No worries, I'll still push through. It's bound to change at some point, right?

In a nutshell, I'm a little "out of it" lately, probably because of whatever ailment I'm suffering with. I have been reading blogs, but I don't have any clever, quick witted comments to contribute and that makes me a little sad so I end up not saying anything. I know that I should, but I haven't. I hope you all understand, I'll get back on the commenting band-wagon before you know it. Don't stop writing though, I'll miss it too much!

So, I currently am finding that I have a lot of friends (YES, even cyber friends) that are having a lot of struggles in various areas of their lives right now. I feel really sad because I don't know what to say or what to do or how to take it all away. I really, really wish I did. I fear that saying something when I really don't know what they are going through would end up making it look like or feel like I have no idea what I'm talking about. It's true, I probably don't know what I'm talking about, but I do like to think that a good friend would be able to offer at least a little sunshine in a day full of clouds.

I actually was able to meet with a really good friend of mine this past weekend. We were the best of friends. The only reason that even had to change was because I moved away several years ago and it was hard to connect from so far away. But, we got together on Saturday and Sunday and were catching up like nothing had changed. Anyway, not quite seven years ago my friend and her family were in a horribly, devastating car accident. Everyone in the accident was injured. She broke her collarbone and ankle. Her husband was crushed/shattered from the waist down and is still struggling with the injuries. But the person that got the most of it was her 10 week old son. It's a long story, but in short (for the sake of the reader) all but 10% of his tiny little brain was damaged and he will not ever be what we thought he was supposed to be. He is not expected to walk/talk/react/function as a normal person - ever. Of course, I believe most of us know and feel that things happen for a reason and I think there is no exception in this story. We may not know the true reason just yet, but I'm sure we'll figure it out in time.

The reason I share this story is to share what she had let me in on this past weekend. She told me that she would never forget that time that we were together because I was the ONLY person that treated her the same way I always did (and still seem to be that person). If she did something funny, I would laugh. If she did something embarrassing, I would remind her of it when necessary. If she did something silly, I would tell her about it (in my oh-so-charming sarcasm). Of course, I told her that I only did this because I didn't know how to act any different than I ever had. It was a tough time for all of us - especially her - and if I could be the only normalcy in her life for that moment, then that was my mission. But I didn't do that because I knew she needed it. I did it because I truly didn't know how else to react. Honestly, all of this time, I have felt that I never did enough. I didn't offer enough, I didn't laugh enough, I didn't give all that I could. But somehow, it was more than she could've ever asked for. She knew that there was NOTHING that any of us could do to take it all away, and all she wanted was to feel normal. She didn't want everyone to have pity on her. She didn't want people to look at her with "puppy dog" eyes because there was nothing they could do and they felt sorry for her. She just wanted to feel normal.

I never knew that this was something was appreciated or valued until this past weekend. Honestly, it gave me a whole new perspective on how I will view and deal with the struggles that my friends face when I know that there's nothing I can do but be there when they need me. I will do everything in my power to help. But I will also not treat you any different than I would have before the struggles appeared. Whether it be problems getting pregnant, problems with the child you've already conceived, or problems with the special needs child that has changed your life. I want to be the best friend that I can be. So, please, feel free to come to me. I will listen, without judgement. I will hug you, in hopes of bringing comfort. I will cry with you, so you don't have to cry alone. I will laugh with you, so that you know there is joy at the end of the trial. I would do this so you can trust that it will all work out as God intended and in his time.

You'll have to forgive me for the long, rambling post. I tend to get emotional when I'm not feeling well. This just had to come out. Please know that I do keep you all in my prayers (that goes for you Kim, Anita, & Lauren). Whether you/they read this message or not, I felt that they/you need to know that you're in my thoughts, my heart and in my prayers.

When I complain about the scales not moving, I need to be reminded of the fact that others have a LOT more to complain about! This is not how I expected this post to go. But the therapy of this post (for me) is priceless!

I'm praying for a week full of blessings!

Success of the year (so far at least) . . .

Yes, there has been success so far this year and I'm happy to share about it!

First, I said I was going to get back on the Wii Fit and I did! I got on this morning for not only a body test, but a few exercises also! I should've stayed on a lot longer, but I was short on time and vowed to hit it up again soon (if not tonight).

Second, I got back into the kitchen this week and have been playing with yummy (and healthy) recipes. Of course, the 5 minute WLS lemon cake I wanted so badly came out so badly so I'll have to attempt that one again with a few revisions. But I've got some plans to do more tonight. Cooking/playing in the kitchen is really therapeutic for me and I'm sad that I don't do more. AT the same time, I hate having leftovers that I can't eat and no one else likes to try. So, I'll do my best to find a happy medium, or a great way to save the good stuff.

Third, I went on a rampage last night. Sadly, I didn't finish any of the four projects I started, but they were started AND will be finished this weekend. One of those projects (along with the Christmas tree tear down and the cleaning up of the little one's room) was cleaning out my closet. I had 4 full garbage bags worth of clothes that I will not be wearing again. I had NO idea that I had so many clothes - mostly because I never fit into them or planned to and passed them up. In fact, there was one pair of navy green (if that's even a color) pants that I was so excited about fitting back into. They were my favorite pants years ago when I was at my (then) lowest weight ever. Well, I tried them on and they were too big! I missed the window! So, they are getting donated to someone that will hopefully get as much enjoyment out of them as I once did (YEARS ago).

Last, I'm back to feeling more positive. I even went back to one of my old past time actions (that I hadn't done in a while) and sent out some little packages to friends just because they were on my mind. They aren't expecting it, and I'm excited (and hoping) that it'll put a smile on their face just to know they are cared for.

I know that I can make the changes I need to and be dedicated to the improvement of me. I'm looking forward to seeing who I can become knowing that I can get better and be better every day!

It's a crazy December!

My December has been far from the mellow months I typically have (or so I think). This month has been crazy. Between the trips out of town, the Christmas parties to plan, the friends to see and hug on, and Christmas itself! This has been pretty wild, but so well worth it!

Today is weigh in day. I haven't been weighing at all between Tuesdays and this leads to great surprise when I actually get on the scale. I was down another 4 lbs today. Sure, I'm pretty certain that this has something to do with my crazy weekend. I ran around like mad and (for the first time in my life) forgot to eat or forgot that I should be hungry because there were so many other things to do.

I have so much to say right now, but I just don't have the time or the thought process to jot it down. I'm finding myself quite scattered these days. I certainly hope this slows down (quickly)!

I hope everyone is in for a fabulous Christmas celebration. I look forward to hearing all of the stories and seeing pictures!

Sleepless nights and weigh ins!

I wish I could start this out with a happy, "Good morning" message, but unfortunately, that's not going my way today. I am trying to be positive, I promise, but there are a bunch of things that are getting me down today.

First of all, I woke up (AGAIN) at 2:39am with my lovely new friend I like to call insomnia! It's strange that it's almost always that exact time - 2:39am. Not 2:38, not 2:45, but 2:39am. I don't really get it. This morning I thought I was going to go right back to sleep because I have been so exhausted. Boy, was I wrong. It was a tough night - but I made it. I should sleep REALLY well tonight!

Next, I got into work and other people that are in foul/grumpy moods have decided to take it out on me. I'm not ready for their foul mood, I'm getting into one of my own right now. Now, I'm frustrated, grumpy, AND sleepy! Am I in for a good day or what?

Ok, enough griping and complaining. I need to turn this day around. So, let's get on with some good news. I am in the 180's - sure, it's 189, but that's progress, right???? Happy weigh in day for me. And to think I almost didn't weigh because I was so tired! But, I did, and it went well. AND, I'm officially down 80 pounds! WHAT?? 80? It doesn't even feel like 80 lbs gone, but it is! What in the world is 109 lbs down going to feel like? Look like? Will I change my goal when I get there? It will be interesting to see what happens. I'm sure I'll be sharing! Honestly, from today, I'm only 29 lbs away from my goal. Could it really happen before I hit my Surgiversary?? Maybe even by my birthday (April)? That can be exciting!

I'm getting excited about my trip for this weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing friends and getting to catch up a bit. The good thing is that even though this day and week have started out rough, I've got good things to look forward too. Sure, I'm a little anxious and possibly insecure, but I can't wait until it all plays out!

What a weekend!

I had anticipated this past weekend for a while and boy was it worth it.

So, my company had our Christmas party this past weekend and it was a huge success. I was incredibly busy with all of the preparations, shopping, wrapping, etc. that I wasn't able to blog much in the last week or two, but now that's all over and it was a hit. I had a blast and I felt great!

I was able to go in and get a new hair cut/color in preparation for the event. I had a new dress. I felt good and I, personally, think I looked pretty good also. Not to mention that my friend from Orange County came all the way up here to be my date! He was a fabulous date! In fact, spending all of the time with him this weekend made me really miss him and miss having him around. We've known each other for 10 years! I need to spend more time with Dan! Spending time with Dan also helped me to realize what I'm looking for in a dating relationship. If I don't find dates with similar personalities as these friends that I cherish, the dating is not going to go very far.

So, one of the funniest instances of the weekend was the "realization" that people had that something was different about me. The funniest thing was that they all thought I looked different because of the new hair do! Not everyone around me has been privy to the "WLS" details. Some have noticed that I'm losing weight, some haven't noticed anything at all. If I had a dollar for every person that said, "There's something different about you - Oh, you changed your hair" - I would be a much wealthier person (ok, maybe by like $25, but that's something, right?)! It was great!

I've got some more excitement happening. I get to spend time in Orange County this weekend catching up with friends and I'm super, duper excited about it! My friend Craig, from Florida, (whom I haven't seen in over 6 years) will be in town. I've already warned him that I have huge expectations. I can't wait to get a big, giant hug from him.

I will say, with the exception of some financial turmoil, things are going pretty well for me right now. I'm excited about the holidays. I'm exciting about seeing and visiting with friends and family. And I'm most especially excited about the new me. I feel better, I look better, I have more energy, and I can't wait to experience what's ahead! Things are going well and I'm excited to live the life I should be living! Now, if I could just get back onto the "exercise band wagon" I'd be set!

It's weigh in day!

Boy! How time flies when we're busy, busy, busy. Tis the season, huh? Well, it's true. The madness began after Thanksgiving when I realized that I have to get ready for our company's Christmas party and I haven't gotten nearly enough done. Fortunately, I'm taking care of this a little at a time, but it's still taking more time than I really have. But, we'll pull it all together and it's going to be great! I'm super excited. We've got great things planned and great things to give away. People are going to love coming to my parties!!! Yipee!

So, today was weigh in day. I can honestly say that I hadn't even thought about a scale ALL week long. In fact, I almost forgot that I was supposed to weigh today. I was at 190.5 - I'm almost out of the 190s. AMAZING!!!! Still feeling good. Hopefully looking good. And now I'm just working toward better! :-)

I did have a "Wow" moment last night. Of course, I have to find a great dress for this weekend's Christmas party. If you've been keeping up with me, you know that I dread shopping and have turned it into an almost phobia. Well, my sister had offered me some dresses, I took them. My roommate had offered me some dresses too. So, last night there was a little fashion show at my house. I was floored! The 16s were too big and the 14s fit! Sure, it's exposing a little more than I want to, but it looks great! A 14 looks great? What in the world? I can only imagine what the 10 will look like (not this year - but maybe next?)! I'll have to post pictures after the event.

Things are going pretty well. I've got a very busy December planned with this week's Christmas party and traveling next week to visit friends in So. Cal., but I'm really looking forward to them all. I can't wait to see so many great people and really get to catch up. That's what Christmas/holiday time is all about - right?

I look forward to having some exciting stories to share!

Monday, Monday . . .

We're back at it again. The week begins, we go back to work tired and not as rested as we should be after a full 2 days off. But alas, we're back. The good thing about this week is . . . it ends (for work) on Wednesday!!! I can't tell you how happy and excited I am about having a 4 day weekend. Of course, I will probably STILL not get enough rest and I will have the same tired, worn out feeling next Monday morning. Yet, hopefully, I will not have the insomnia problem.

It's true, the insomnia has been back at it again. This time, I just can't catch up. I can't believe that I didn't even talk to my surgeon about it when I saw him last week. What was I thinking?

Anyway, the weekend was good, back and ugly all at the same time. The good was that I got to catch up with several friends whether by phone, email or actually seeing them in person. That was a good thing. I also scored a date to my company's Christmas party at the same time. And I'm so excited! Sure, my date is a friend of mine and it will be a purely platonic evening, but I'm super excited none the less!

The bad was having to say goodbye to a family friend. Sure, I wasn't super close to him, but he definitely had an impact in my life and he will be dearly missed!

The ugly was having to brave the stores in the midst of several other crazy shoppers. Since when does the craziness start so soon. It ended up being a good time because I was with a good friend of mine. That made it all the better!

So, all in all, the weekend was pretty good. I just wish I would've been able to sleep more! Next weekend?

It's Tuesday weigh in day . . .

So far, it's been a good morning! Here's the recap . . .
This weekend we had a great time with family and friends. We had the "Family Fall Festival" at Uncle Carl's on Saturday. What a great time! We got together for a full day, the kids played hard, the adults played hard and we ate as if there was nothing else to do! I didn't feel really great by the time we had gotten home because I was not doing what I should've. I guarantee I didn't get enough protein, water, or exercise (but I did get some). All that being said, I had a fabulous time and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, all that fun I had on Saturday led me to a difficult Sunday. I wanted to do nothing but rest. Sure, I got some rest in, but when it was time to go at it again for a gathering of more food, fun, and friends, I was struggling. I had a huge headache (probably dehydration) and I was NOT up for eating. But I went, and enjoyed myself. It was a "last supper" type of deal for a friend of mine that is going through WLS tomorrow. I am wishing her the best and a quick, happy, healthy recovery!

So, the next obstacle - My surgeon's appointment yesterday! It went almost as expected. Their scale (which I had guessed) weighed me a bit heavier. Not to mention that I had jeans and shoes on (I typically weigh in my PJs), but they still showed a 65 lb loss! I wanted it to be more, but I'll take it. I'm still tracking my progress on my personal scale at home, but it's fun to see that we're close. The Dr. said I am doing great. He's encouraging me by telling me that I'm over halfway to a goal that some don't reach for 18 months and I've done it in 6. Well, that is exciting and encouraging. I'm just glad it hasn't stopped!

The other exciting thing was that I got to see 4 of the 7 people that had surgery on the same day as I did! It was GREAT to see them all and see the differences. It was also fun to share about the things we are doing and the things we can tolerate (or not). Everyone was SO different that it was just strange to hear. I loved it though. We were all grateful to have gone through the experience (even considering how hard the first 2+ months were), but it was amazing! I think we should all schedule our appointments on the same day for the rest of our lives! It would be great to see them all and catch up! I wouldn't trade those times for anything!

To top it all off, I was down on the scale today! So, I'd have to say that I'm off to a good start for the day and the week! I'm excited and empowered. I can't wait to see what happens next!!

Hump day!

Yep! It's the middle of the week. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded if it came a bit sooner. I'm ready for this week to be over! I've been battling a viral illness/infection (I know this because I went to the Doc for it today). There is nothing I can do at this point except for get a lot of sleep and over-the-counter medicate! YIPEE!!! Thank God for O-T-C medication!

So, today has been a pretty good day. I didn't get on the Wii Fit today because I was resting. I knew my appointment wasn't until 8 and that gave me almost an extra 1 1/2 hours to sleep in! Of course, it wasn't restful sleep because I was nervous about what the doc was going to say, but at least it was some sort of rest!

I, unfortunately, wasn't able to touch base with the friend that I was so excited about connecting with. Apparently I don't have her number anymore (or the one that I do have is no longer connected). It's sad, but hopefully we'll get to catch up soon.

On the other hand, I got a very unexpected phone call from a friend of mine that I haven't spoken to in over a year. It was nice to hear from him, but strange none the less. I always question the "out of the blue" phone calls. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I always want to know what led them to call or reconnect. But, naturally, people aren't always up for sharing the truth behind it. It was good to talk to him. I hope to talk to him more in the near future. I even joked with my sister about the fact that maybe he got the "vibe" that I am in the dating game again and wanted to throw his hat into the ring? Probably not, but what a fun thought- right? Can't hurt my self esteem for thinking it!

I'm ready to start feeling better. I'm ready to stop feeling sick/under the weather. I'm ready to get my voice back and not feel like I have to explain myself or repeat everything I say. I will stay positive (and quiet, obviously) until it all gets better!

Are you doing any better??