Uh oh!

Yep! It's a bit of an "uh oh" day! Wait, Wait! I'm going to take Laurie's advice and "Fake it till you make it". It's a BEAUTIFUL day!!! Nothing could go wrong! I do want to fake it but I want all the ickys to go away while I'm faking it. What are the chance of that happening?

Back to business! Today was weigh in day! woo hoo! Well, I was up! Yes Sir! I was up a whole pound. Can you imagine?? Yeah, I was a little disappointed, but not at all surprised. In fact, I almost skipped my Wii session this morning because I knew it might be ugly. Don't get me wrong, it's only a pound. That can come off by next week anyway. But I was disappointed because I know EXACTLY what I did wrong: haven't been to the gym in a week, been under tons of stress at work, allowed myself to eat out of frustration/boredom, and ate way too much sugar! So, no question about it - the scale was exactly where it should've been!

On a better note, I'm back on track! Yesterday was a better day (than the weekend) and today has been even better. I'm scheduled for a session with Micah the personal trainer tonight, so there's no doubt I'll be kicked into shape (or at least a better attitude) by about 7:30 tonight!

I have decided that I am going to add more protein/shakes to my life. I've heard a lot of talk about how people stall in their weight loss or slow down dramatically and then kick up the protein and BAM, things start falling off. Well, I'm going to test that theory! I'm going to start tonight with a yummy chocolate/banana/PB2 shake after the work out! I'll keep you posted on my progress!

I have successfully ordered the book "Joining the Thin Club" and now, I just have to wait for it to arrive. Ok bloggy friends, have you read it? Do you like it so far??

I'm super excited about getting the book and reading it. I'm starting to enjoy reading again. The only frustration I have now is the lack of time. Can't people pay me to sit around and read instead of be at work all day long?? :-)

It's been a busy last week, busy weekend, and even busier week ahead. I need to take more time to write/blog and really get my feelings out there. Watch out! Things could get ugly! :-)

I hope you are all doing remarkably well. I look forward to catching up on blogs and chiming in on your successes!!!!

Tuesday? Already?

Yes, it is Tuesday and I don't have any clever reasons or antics to get out of weighing in today. So, the verdict is . . . I'm down 1.5 lbs! YIPEE!!! I'm now only 2.5 lbs away from my first MAJOR goal! That, of course, is to have lost 100 lbs before my Surgiversary on May 22! I don't know, but it's starting to look like I might make it! REALLY??? Now that will change my day around! Now, if I could only come up with a good "reward"!

I've been neglecting the blog somewhat consciously for a few days. I had a lot going on last week and I didn't really know how to sort it all out. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I look so different than what I'm used to. I'm also having to come to terms with that I still struggle with body image and body image issues. I am sure that I'm not the only one facing these issues, but they do force me to question what is going on in my head and how I really need to deal with these. Guess I'll be arranging for a therapy session soon!

On a more positive note, I'm feeling good about my exercise regime. I'm starting to feel like there's muscle - under the soft, squishy exterior, of course. But, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling muscles in my arms, legs, and quite possibly in my abs! It's a good feeling! And now, I just want more!!! Unfortunately, I'll have to skip the gym again tonight because I'm at home dealing with a poor, sick, little boy, but I'll get some sort of exercise in - even it's wrestling with the little man to get medicine down his throat! :-)

I'm trying to make this a good day! At least it started on the right foot!! Thank you Wii Fit! :-)

It's real . . . my weigh in story!

This morning was Wii Fit weigh in day. In all honesty, I didn't want to get on the scale at all. I think this is the FIRST time that I've had that feeling in almost 9 months. But I had it. I had this feeling because I knew that it was not going to be down. It's funny because I think that I can "feel" when my body is changing and my weight is shifting, but right now, my body isn't doing anything. Sure, I feel like I've been hungry more often. I feel like I have been eating/snacking a lot more and that all has to change. But I can tell that my body isn't going anywhere - even with the additional exercise and motivation.

So, the verdict was . . . I had lost .2 pounds. I don't even count that. I only count a loss if it is a half or more. So, when I've lost .7 - it still only counts as .5. I know, it's crazy, but that's just how I work. So, I am technically the same. 180. I so want to be in the 170s. I really want to be 175 because that's something that I've looked to as being a good number. But my body is apparently not in agreement with my head about that.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about the fact that I am the smallest I've ever been in my life. I'm just sad that it's stopping and I'm afraid that I won't be making my goal at this rate. So, I will just try harder. Focus more on what is going into my mouth and make sure that I'm making the right choices. Can it really decide to stop so soon? I won't sit back and let that happen - without a fight at least!

So, I have decided to sell my elliptical machine to my sister and join a gym. What she'll give me for the machine will just about cover a year worth of gym fees. I had decided that the cardio alone will not be working anymore. I need to get some muscle tone and I'll need to be lifting and using weights in order to make this happen. So, I'm biting the bullet, and I'm making a decision to get my gym membership. The good thing is that my son will LOVE going to the gym! Of course, we won't be going to Foster's Freeze for ice cream afterward (like we used to) but I'm sure he'll love the interaction just as much as I do!

The good news is that there's a support group meeting tonight at my surgeons office. Coming together with people that have "been there, done that" can be really encouraging. I'm sure this will pick up my spirits and show me that I can do this!!!

That's the update for the day. I really hope I will get to report some good news on the scale front soon. I feel like it's been much too long since I've reported something significant. Someday . . . .

Is it time? A weigh in update.

It's Tuesday and that means I stepped on the Wii Fit this morning to have my weekly weigh in update. There I stood, not meeting my goal of losing 2 lbs in 2 weeks. Sad was I. The good news is that I am at 180. Not 180.5, not 180.25, but 180. So, this means, that if I lose ANYTHING at all I will be in the 170s - which is territory never seen since my days in elementary school. Can you believe that?

So, I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed. I had made some positive changes last week by exercising and even bringing back the protein shakes into my diet (something I've let slip that I shouldn't have). I'm not saying that I'm not happy about where I am, but I'd just be a little happier to see changes. I'm not ready for it all to stop as it does for so many people. I have goals, I have things I need to achieve and I need to be reinforced (see progress) to get me there. I will keep on and push through. I will succeed.

This week, I plan to kick up the exercise. I will be on the elliptical at least 3 times this week(for intentional exercise) and I will get on the Wii Fit for at least two exercise sessions. I will consume a protein shake after my workout to get the required amount of protein in. And I will have a positive attitude about it all.

Here's to getting to the 170s!!!

We have success . . .

Well, at least a little. This week I have successfully completed 2 elliptical workouts and one Wii Fit workout. Yes, that's still a little light, but it does give me something to work towards.

Yesterday, there was a big part of me that wanted to get on the elliptical again, but there was a bigger, more emotional, part of me that decided to take a rest. So, I took my (soon to be 6 year old) son to Target to pick out some Birthday wishes for himself. It was good for us. It felt like quality time even though we were looking at things. It was a good moment to share.

I will say, with the added exercise, I'm getting more of the "old" habits and ideas creeping in. I have been wanting to snack and eat all day long. Not that I'm hungry. Sure, there's some "head" hunger in there, but I don't believe that I'm really hungry. I'll want/crave something and think I need it SO bad, then I'll get it, take a bit or so and I'm really over it. But then, something else creeps in and I'll cave, but that doesn't do it either. I'm going to have to do some more journaling about my inner self to really see where these issues are coming from.

Fortunately, we'll have a busy weekend with a small Birthday gathering and some good family time that will take my mind off of my emotional issues. I also want to get more exercise in because I know that exercise typically helps my emotional state of mind. Let's hope this weekend proves to be a good one and pulls me out of my funk.

I've got to be in good spirits to celebrate my little muffin's birthday! Where were you 6 years ago Sunday? I was thanking God for my beautiful little muffin! :-)

So, I'm a little late

It has been a crazy week! I've been in training (at work) all week and have had absolutely NO time to even think, let alone writing about the trials and tribulations of my world. Ok, Ok, so I'm being a little bit dramatic, but it has been a little bit on the crazy side.

So, since I didn't post the successes of last week, I'll post those now. I was excited that after my post of motivation, I actually did something about it. I've been exercising! Yes, sir! Last week I met up with my Wii Fit trainer again and had some fun. Then, over the weekend, I moved that lovely little elliptical trainer into my room. Sure, it's quite a tight fit, but I figured that if I saw it in there taking up so much space that I'd get myself on it! Sure enough, it worked!!! I've been doing 30 minute stints on the Elliptical and feeling pretty good about it!

Don't get me wrong, there's still an inner struggle. I'll get on the machine and set it for 30 minutes. At about 5 minutes into the session, I'm convincing myself that 15 minutes will do, then I try to justify that I did 30 minutes yesterday and maybe I only need 20 today, or I'll do 20 now and then do something later. Fortunately, I've hit the 20 minute mark and thought to myself, "this isn't that bad, stop being such a baby" and I continue on to complete the full 30 minute workout. I hate that I have those lazy demons in my head, but they are there. I just have to ward them off with more exercise! Right?? Just wait until I start moving it up to 45 minutes, then an hour - what in the world will they do then???

Now, for the weigh in update, I got on the Wii Fit for my weekly weigh in and body test. I'm glad to report that my Wii Fit age is staying consistently under 30. That's PRETTY amazing, if you asked me. So, maybe there is something of validity in the Wii Fit process? The scale was also reporting a 1 pound loss. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed. I've lost a mere 3 pounds in the last 4 weeks. I know that my body is trying to catch up. I know that things have to slow down. I'm just not ready. So, I'm combating that with exercise and protein shakes. Let's see how next week's weigh in pans out. Right? I'm not giving up yet!!!

It's been a crazy busy week, but I'm looking forward to it getting better.

Success of the year (so far at least) . . .

Yes, there has been success so far this year and I'm happy to share about it!

First, I said I was going to get back on the Wii Fit and I did! I got on this morning for not only a body test, but a few exercises also! I should've stayed on a lot longer, but I was short on time and vowed to hit it up again soon (if not tonight).

Second, I got back into the kitchen this week and have been playing with yummy (and healthy) recipes. Of course, the 5 minute WLS lemon cake I wanted so badly came out so badly so I'll have to attempt that one again with a few revisions. But I've got some plans to do more tonight. Cooking/playing in the kitchen is really therapeutic for me and I'm sad that I don't do more. AT the same time, I hate having leftovers that I can't eat and no one else likes to try. So, I'll do my best to find a happy medium, or a great way to save the good stuff.

Third, I went on a rampage last night. Sadly, I didn't finish any of the four projects I started, but they were started AND will be finished this weekend. One of those projects (along with the Christmas tree tear down and the cleaning up of the little one's room) was cleaning out my closet. I had 4 full garbage bags worth of clothes that I will not be wearing again. I had NO idea that I had so many clothes - mostly because I never fit into them or planned to and passed them up. In fact, there was one pair of navy green (if that's even a color) pants that I was so excited about fitting back into. They were my favorite pants years ago when I was at my (then) lowest weight ever. Well, I tried them on and they were too big! I missed the window! So, they are getting donated to someone that will hopefully get as much enjoyment out of them as I once did (YEARS ago).

Last, I'm back to feeling more positive. I even went back to one of my old past time actions (that I hadn't done in a while) and sent out some little packages to friends just because they were on my mind. They aren't expecting it, and I'm excited (and hoping) that it'll put a smile on their face just to know they are cared for.

I know that I can make the changes I need to and be dedicated to the improvement of me. I'm looking forward to seeing who I can become knowing that I can get better and be better every day!

Is it really happening?

I think I'm losing a bit of motivation. Maybe I'm just tired? Things haven't been going "my" way completely and I just don't like that. A lot of things have suffered since I've been experiencing this exhaustion and I've just let them slip. This is probably something that's not helping my emotional health either. I haven't been on the Wii Fit (except to weigh and do a body test once a week) in way too long. I miss it. But I don't want to get up in the mornings and I don't want to do much after work, but I have to get my booty in shape. What in the world is stopping me? I have an elliptical trainer in the garage that doesn't hate me anymore (thanks to my shedding of 86 lbs), but I'm not getting on that either. It's a new year. It's supposed to be a good year. Why is it starting off so darn tough?

So, what am I going to do about it? I'm going to make a change! I'm going to start doing things even though I don't want to so that I will want to soon (knowing that I feel so much better when I'm doing them). I think this will also help me to keep my self in check and focused. Because I haven't been exercising, I've had more time to obsess about things. That is NEVER a good thing. So, with the extra time and effort I'll put into the exercise, the less time I'll have to obsess. That has to be a good thing, right?

So, the Wii Fit and I will begin dating again. I miss the poor little trainer and I'm certain that the trainer misses me - right? Hey, I may even start dating the elliptical machine again too (boy, do I get around). That greasy hunk of metal gets my heart pounding and my sweat flowing every time. Sure, it's not always going to do for me (I need some knee-knocking too), but I'll take what I can get until my warm and cuddly exercise partner comes around/along!

I'm ready to focus more. I'm ready to obsess less. And I'm ready to look and feel great! Wii can do this! :-)

A weigh in "first"!

For the first time in my short "weigh in" accountability history, the Wii Fit/scale didn't move an ounce from last week. SERIOUSLY, the scale said I had lost 0.0. Does this really happen? In a whole week? I will say, this is better than gaining - right?

When I put it all into perspective, it's incredibly fair that I haven't dropped any weight. The good news is that I'm not sad about it. December was a big month for me. I had dropped a lot, I had been very active, I had forgotten to eat several times. Well, after Christmas, that all stopped. We had several days to do NOTHING but play video games, sit around with family and friends, and just be lazy. I haven't been lazy like that in a while. It was nice, but now it's time to get back to the grind!

I will say, there was a part of me that thought/thinks that this is where it all stops. I've never been this low (weight wise) in my entire adult life. I am flabbergasted. I'm excited to be here, but I also fear that this will be it. Fortunately, that fear is only in a small portion of my though process and I'm going to work really hard to overcome this idea. Now the goal is to just get off my butt and make it happen!

On the third day of Christmas . . .

Oh wait! It's just the third day of December! :-)

Well, if I were singing the song, today's verse would say that my true love gave me nothing but heartache. Am I being dramatic or what?

Today has been an interesting day. I guess that's to top off my interesting week? Maybe I'm back to secreting all of those ridiculous hormones into my system from all of this weight loss? Maybe I'm being a little bit dramatic again, but I've got to have something to explain it all away, right?

So, I went to my very first WLS support group meeting last night. The meeting itself was good/bad and fortunately not so ugly! It started off with the "founding" surgeon of this practice giving us a medical look at what goes on long term regarding weight loss/gain, appetite, and what happens when you try to eat too much (creating a second stomach and all). It was great to talk in such an open forum and get the real "meat" of what happens. I loved that. I also liked sharing ideas and getting to boast about my experience with the Wii Fit. I swear I should work for Nintendo! Anyway, that was great. I must admit, it was absolutely crazy to hear that someone (one of the 3 year post ops) thought I was at goal. She had no idea that I was only 6 months out of surgery. WHAT? Are you serious? I am barely out of the 200s and I still have 35 + pounds to lose. What was she thinking? She has to see that I'm still packing extra weight. Especially since she's so much smaller than I am. Sure, it made me kind of smile, but I just don't see it. Am I kidding myself? Is this really happening?

The part I wasn't so excited about was the organization. It didn't seem like there was a plan. We didn't have specific topics to talk about. We did go over exercises and techniques (which were great and very helpful) but other than that, it was just a bit of chatting. Maybe the next one will be better? It was a pretty long drive for a week night to just get in a bit of chatting. But, I won't discount it until I try again (at least ONE more time). Plus, the next time, the psychologist is supposed to be there. THAT is exciting to me.

The other funk has to do with this whole dating thing. I really don't know where to stand on the dating issue. I'm an "old-fashioned" type of girl. I guess I expect the gentlemen to be gentlemen. I expect to be the one receiving phone calls, being asked out with plans being made and all of that mumbo jumbo. Does that even happen anymore? Maybe I'm just out-dated? Maybe the "good 'ol boys" don't exist anymore? And then when I thought I had the interest of one (and I was/am interested too) all communication stops. I was told I'd get a call on Monday, but didn't. Now it's Wednesday and I feel forgotten. Sure, I could pick up the phone and call too, but am I committed enough to "chase"??? Wow! Who knew I'd be struggling so much with the whole idea of dating? If I didn't like it before, I really don't like it now!

I hate that this whole post has been so negative. Not EVERYTHING in my world is negative. That's just what I've focused on today. I will be positive that things will get better. Sometimes, I just need to vent. Maybe it's all because I missed my current Favorite show? I'll watch my DVR'd Biggest Loser tonight and all will be better!

Mexi-meltalicious!

WOW! I've never experienced the Taco Bell "mexi-melt" before today. I must admit, that's a tasty little morsel! The other huge benefit of the mexi-melt is how much protein they pack in that little bite. there are 15 grams of protein! That's 6 more grams than my usual (the Crunchy Taco Supreme). I must admit, I was a little bit leery of trying this adventure because I don't really do well with flour/bread/tortillas. That's why the crunchy tacos work better for me, they are crunchy and don't typically swell up in the itsy bitsy pouch I've come to know and love. But, much to my surprise, I ate the whole thing. Sure, I'm pretty full right now, but it was a fun adventure that I wasn't expecting. I'm sure this will only be an occasional treat, but it was a fun find. Not to mention, Taco Bell is a common place for friends and family to go. So, now, I feel like I have choices and won't be quick to say, "Um, can we pick something else"?

So, besides Taco Bell brightening my day, the day has not been overly eventful. I have gotten a lot of work accomplished. I did get on my Wii Fit today and the BMI was down just slightly. I'm still over 30 (30.04 to be exact) but I'm working on it. I've not been exercising due to the illness that I have been plagued with, but I will get back on track soon. I feel the need to exercise. I feel like I've been so sluggish. I'm not near as proud of my accomplishments when I don't feel the energy or the pull of recently exercised muscles. I'll get back on and soon be singing the praise of sore muscles and back aches! YIPEE!

It's been crazy!

Yes, yes, that is my excuse this time. I can't believe I haven't had any time to keep my blog updated in the last week. It's been crazy! And I'm not just saying that! I had to prepare for my company's 10th Anniversary party, then a Safety BBQ, and then my first "eHarmony" date. It's been nuts!

I will say, the parties went swimmingly! They were both great. A lot of work, but it all paid off. I think everyone had a great time and I was glad to have a part in both of those events. The date, not so much. I find myself questioning if my standards are too high or if I have incorrect expectations in the whole "dating" way of life. I know exactly what I want (or I think I want) in my head, but is he really out there? Do I just keep going through the "frogs" until I find the right one? I may think I have found the "0ne" but will I ever really know? It's such a strange process that we have to go through. What happened to the days when you had so many friends that their friends would come around and you'd be interested? Or the days when you run into someone at a party/social event/gathering and the two of you hit it off like you've known each other forever. Do those chance meetings really happen? Am I just too much of a romantic? There's got to be some sort of an answer. Until then, I'll keep rummaging through the frogs in search of the prince (or something of that nature).

I got on the Wii Fit today and I couldn't believe that I hadn't had a meeting with that partner either in 5 days!!! Where has my world gone in the last week? Well, I'm happy to say, I'm back on. Wii Fit and I will be seeing a lot more of each other, especially considering that my 6 month appointment is in just a couple of weeks! OH MY! I've got goals, remember?

ONEDERLAND

It's official!!!! I'm in onederland and I love it! Sure, it doesn't seem real, it doesn't feel that much different (from 202 last week) but it's just that I don't have to say I weigh 200 lbs or over 200lbs. I'm UNDER 200 LBS!!!! Fantastic!!!!

I do think that the Wii Fit was trying to torture me for cheating yesterday. It didn't move at all! It was at 198.9 AGAIN! And, it even said, "you haven't lost any weight since your last visit" - so, does it really have to rub it in? I think not!

I got the official word yesterday that I have been promoted! I don't know what the exact title is yet, but I'm excited that everything is starting to change.

It also looks like I may have a date this weekend. Imagine that? Do you know how long it's been since I've been on a date? Just about 2 years! I'm taking this slow. We'll see how it all pans out.

It's a big busy week. I still need to get in my exercise and I still have to be eating right! I've got a lot to focus on, especially since I've made a goal!!!! I'm in ONEDERLAND BEFORE MY DR's APPOINTMENT!!!

I'm such a cheater!

So, I told everyone that I was going to be strong and not check my actually weight on the Wii Fit except for on Tuesdays (my official weigh in day). Well, I so wanted that to be true this morning. I did, I did. But when I saw that my BMI had dropped significantly, I just couldn't hold back. So, I did it! I checked. Do you know what it said? 198.9. WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? There wasn't a 2 at the beginning? I didn't even know what to do. I didn't know what to think. There was a 1! Do you know what that means? I'm officially in ONEDERLAND!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!! I just had to share!

The weekend was good (you can tell by the pictures). Of course, I had several struggles over the weekend that have now been resolved, fortunately. But the cheating this morning did help! I also think the large amounts of walking helped a lot.

I got to see one of my beloved friends (former roommate) that I've been missing terribly. She is so amazing! She's so encouraging and always has great insight. Not to mention that she is one of those "skinny" people that don't stop moving (which means that when I'm with her, I don't either). So, we did a lot of walking, talking, hugging, and catching up. It was fabulous!!! And, it also made me realize how much more walking I need in my life. Even with the new found exercise regimes, elliptical trainers, Wii Fitting, I will be adding a whole lot more walking into my life!

So, all in all, things are going pretty well. I'm feeling good and I'm ready for a very, very busy week!!!

Emotions and boxing

The two do go together, right? We get emotional and then we want to box, right? Or do we want to curl up into a box? I haven't quite figured it out yet, but when I do, I'll let you know!

I had a rough day yesterday. I don't think I was "grouchy" ALL day, but it sure hit like a ton of bricks when I got home. The night before (Tuesday night) I had worked out on the Wii Fit again for over 30 minutes. I unlocked the advanced Boxing, the 10 minute free-step aerobics, and another strength exercise. Of course, I had to do them all to make sure that I didn't have any "new" games I hadn't tried. It was great. I was actually SWEATING - yes, like a pig! But it was fun. My son even commented - "you sweat a lot!" Well, it felt good, but I was so tired when I was done. Body tired, not so much sleepy tired. In fact, I had trouble sleeping because I was all amped up from the exercise! But we survived!

I also had a counseling session on Tuesday - which could've lead to the grouchy. The session didn't go as well as I had wanted. I wanted to solve problems, sort things out, understand why I'm afraid to let the fat person go and not have the barrier that I'm used to. But those things didn't get solved (it's only an hour) and it lead to so many more questions. Do we think the unanswered questions could've lead to grouchy? Probably so (along with the exhaustion). I, also, ate very poorly yesterday. If I eat better today, will it all go away?

Well, last night I had to go to my "second" job of cleaning the office. I was so not excited about that - which made me really grouchy and I kind of took it out on my poor little "muffin". The thing that was good about that is that I take someone with me and we get to talk and be friends. That's a good thing. All was well, until we were driving home and she brought up something that she's been struggling with. As it turns out, she was talking about something that I was struggling with too! SERIOUSLY! The reason it was so hard is because I didn't want to have to really talk about it because I didn't want her to know that I was struggling too. But then she made comments like, "I don't see how you deal with this," and it really made me wonder why I'm putting up with it. And I don't know why!!!!!

I think this all goes back to my putting other people's feelings before my own. Why do I care so much. All I know is that I think about this AT LEAST once a month. I don't know if it's because it coincides with my "cycle" or if it's just that's when I can't take it anymore? But I'm frustrated and I don't know what to do.

I guess I needed a little venting this morning. I know I've been vague, I don't want to put it all out there for my own protection. I just need to decide what's best for me and how to go about getting it. I guess I just have to factor it all in and weigh my options. Let's just hope I can sort it all out before I take drastic measures.

Guess I'll be doing some serious boxing tonight!

Unlocking new possibilities

Today is official "weigh in" day. It's that once a week time that I really question if I want to keep this up weekly. YES! Of course I do! It's accountability!!!! So, today, I was up. Of course, it was only .5 lb since last week, but it was still up. It's supposed to be down! I will still blame my week full of working out for this eye opening experience. At least I'm being honest! I'm really starting to question my goals, but I am still determined to get closer to that "onederland" before mid-November.

The discouragement of exercise causing a weight gain did not detour me. I STILL exercised last night. This time, it was me and my Wii fit! I unlocked ALL SORTS of things yesterday! So, now, I have the advanced step aerobics, the penguin fishing game, new strength training AND RHYTHM BOXING!!! I'm unlocking things left and right and it's fun! I really enjoyed my workout yesterday - and it was like I was playing games. We should elect the inventor of the Wii to be President!!!

I joined an online support group today for the help with the wls experience. I'm super excited about it. The members all seem so very cool. I just wish they were closer and I could actually meet these people in person. I'm determined not to just lurk in the shadows of this group. I'm going to be a part of it. I need friends, I need support, I need to know that others are going through the same things. Friends are priceless, even if they are strictly cyberpals! I'm not giving up. I'll be social one way or another.

Back at it again . . .

Here's to another week! Hopefully a week full of successes. Today, I'm off to a smidge of a rocky start. On the Wii Fit this morning, I was exactly the same as I was (BMI because I don't check actual weight until tomorrow) on Friday. That was slightly disappointing because I was up on Thursday/Friday. I will chalk it up to my week FULL of exercising (last week). Let's hope it pays off soon. I did, finally, get to unlock the ADVANCED STEP AEROBICS and The Rhythm boxing! Go me!!!

I tried a new, fun, yummy, weight loss surgery friendly 5 minute chocolate cake recipe and it was pretty good. My family agreed. It was HANDS DOWN way better than the full sugar/fat version. GO EGGFACE! You've done it again. I must say, at this point, Eggface is my hero!!!! Such an inspiration.

I started to get a little bit discouraged on my way home from Fresno yesterday. I don't know exactly why, but I can tell you a little about it. I am getting to the point where I am feeling better about myself, the way I look, and how I wouldn't mind if others felt good about it also. I started to think about dating. I haven't been on an actual date in AGES (ok, almost 2 years)! The problem is that I don't even know where to start. Do I have the time? Do I have the energy? Do I have the will power? I don't know where to meet people, how to throw out availability or even if I'd be able to share my time with a new prospect/interest and my son. What do you do about situations like this?

I would love to have someone to go places with, do things with, laugh with, and have the dating experience, but where does it start? I think I am ready, but how do I really know? Do I have to go back to "kissing the frogs" and not enjoying myself to be able to get to the one that I have a blast with? It's sad to say that I'm 33 years old and I don't even know how to date! Now what? Suggestions?

I'm looking forward to a good week. I hope that I get to hear something, anything about the prospects on my new position at work - if it's going to happen or not. I am ready to not be in limbo. I'm ready to be confident about the future and about where I'm going. We'll see how it works!!!