Uh oh!

Yep! It's a bit of an "uh oh" day! Wait, Wait! I'm going to take Laurie's advice and "Fake it till you make it". It's a BEAUTIFUL day!!! Nothing could go wrong! I do want to fake it but I want all the ickys to go away while I'm faking it. What are the chance of that happening?

Back to business! Today was weigh in day! woo hoo! Well, I was up! Yes Sir! I was up a whole pound. Can you imagine?? Yeah, I was a little disappointed, but not at all surprised. In fact, I almost skipped my Wii session this morning because I knew it might be ugly. Don't get me wrong, it's only a pound. That can come off by next week anyway. But I was disappointed because I know EXACTLY what I did wrong: haven't been to the gym in a week, been under tons of stress at work, allowed myself to eat out of frustration/boredom, and ate way too much sugar! So, no question about it - the scale was exactly where it should've been!

On a better note, I'm back on track! Yesterday was a better day (than the weekend) and today has been even better. I'm scheduled for a session with Micah the personal trainer tonight, so there's no doubt I'll be kicked into shape (or at least a better attitude) by about 7:30 tonight!

I have decided that I am going to add more protein/shakes to my life. I've heard a lot of talk about how people stall in their weight loss or slow down dramatically and then kick up the protein and BAM, things start falling off. Well, I'm going to test that theory! I'm going to start tonight with a yummy chocolate/banana/PB2 shake after the work out! I'll keep you posted on my progress!

I have successfully ordered the book "Joining the Thin Club" and now, I just have to wait for it to arrive. Ok bloggy friends, have you read it? Do you like it so far??

I'm super excited about getting the book and reading it. I'm starting to enjoy reading again. The only frustration I have now is the lack of time. Can't people pay me to sit around and read instead of be at work all day long?? :-)

It's been a busy last week, busy weekend, and even busier week ahead. I need to take more time to write/blog and really get my feelings out there. Watch out! Things could get ugly! :-)

I hope you are all doing remarkably well. I look forward to catching up on blogs and chiming in on your successes!!!!

Time to catch up & face a challenge!

This has been a very busy week for me. But it's been mostly good. That's a bonus!

So, Tuesday, I was scheduled to meet with Micah. I went to the gym - but before the gym I decided to have a little snack of strawberries & whipped cream. This ended up being a bad idea, but I didn't find that out until later. I was at the gym doing my cardio (for 30 min. before I met with Micah) and I was trucking along just fine. When it was 6pm, I went downstairs to wait. While waiting, all of a sudden, that sick/dumping feeling came on. All I could think about was how to get home. How was I supposed to work out? How was I supposed to lift weights? Well, 10 minutes goes by and still no Micah. All I know is that I have to get out of there and get out fast! So, I went to the front desk and told them that I was going to have to reschedule. They were trying to convince me that Micah was there, but I didn't care, I needed to run home and curl up into a fetal position until the feeling passed. EEEWWWW. At least I got a good 30 minute workout in before the feeling hit.

So, that is twice now that too much fruit has caused some problems. What does that mean? Lay off the fruit, Heather!!!!! Good advice. I think I'm going to follow it. Of course, I can have a little, but not much. I'll keep tabs on that, just so I don't get stuck like that again.

The other good news is that I felt better yesterday, naturally, and so I went back for a lovely little gym session. Much to my surprise, Micah was there and he was more than willing to fit me in. So, we WORKED and WORKED HARD last night! It felt great and now I can't wait to keep it up. It feels good. I have more energy and I can't wait to start seeing and feeling results!

On another note, I was reading Janine's (http://journeytoaminime.blogspot.com) this morning and she had extended a challenge. She has been following some video blogs (aka - vlogs) and one of them had issued a challenge to create four statements and the statements were to begin as:
I can
I will
I want
I won't

So, Janine, I am accepting your challenge and I am writing in response to your blog. I think this is a very good exercise and a great reminder of what we have, can, and will achieve! Thank you for your suggestion and for sharing your thoughts!

Here's how my statements go:
I can achieve the goals I have set for myself - regardless of how much time they take!
I will remain positive about how far I've come and how much my life has changed for the better!
I want to accept and appreciate myself for who I am and where I'm going.
I won't allow myself to believe that I am not worth all of the things I'm working toward!

Thank you for the challenge. It feels good to participate in exercises such as this because it almost forces us to look at things in a different light. I'd be interested to see what all my other blogger friends would say. Consider yourself challenged!!!

What to do with a Tuesday . . .

Well, I know what I do with Tuesdays, I weigh in (whether I like it or not)! I must say, today, I was dreading having to get on the scale. I was trying to convince myself that I could wait until tomorrow, but that's not being very accountable - is it?

The good news is . . . I was exactly the same! Still under 175, even under 174. I'm at 173 - still! I think that I was nervous because I had lost 3 lbs in one week and that (in my head) just couldn't have stayed off. But it did! So, I am grateful for this. I don't think I will make it to my initial goal of having lost 100lbs by my birthday (one week from today), but I think 96 lbs is pretty darn good!!! And no one can take that achievement away from me. :-)

I made it back to the gym last night and it felt great! Sure, I'm a little bit exhausted today, but I'm back! I get to meet up with Micah and see what kind of "butt kicking" he's going to give me. Fortunately, I'm looking forward to it. I like the challenge. I like the idea that results will follow (eventually). I don't always like the pain while I'm in it, but I do like the after effects. It's as they say . . . "Beauty is pain".

I have noticed, also, that since vacation, my appetite has been so much different as well as the amount of food that I can eat. It's almost as if the cruise was some sort of a "pouch test". I never felt over full on the trip. I never even cared if I ate or not. In fact, one night, we (my cousins and I) skipped dinner all together. I think of this transition as a good thing because I was really getting concerned with the amount that I was eating. But now, I feel like I'm a little bit more in control and I like it.

I know that this is quite the rambling post. I just have a lot of things rolling around in my head and I wanted to get them out. Thanks for keeping up with them!

I hope all is well in your world. I look forward to more positive postings - both reading and writing!

At least I get one photographic memory . . .

So, I finally scanned in a photo (or two) from the professional photographers (yes, very cheesy photos) on the cruise. Between my mother and I, we purchased about 5 of them. Some good, some, not so good. I cropped one and now will be using this as my "head shot" or profile pic. It's a little cheesy, but fun!

I'm in good spirits today! This is good news! I even had another exhausting weekend - acting like a teenager and staying out until 3am! But it was great! The weather is great and it makes me want to be in a better mood - regardless of the sleep I'm lacking! :-)

Now, the trainer is out to get me. Micah caught me cheating myself of the gym. He called me last night to remind me that I haven't seen him in a while and he thinks we should get together again tomorrow. I told him I'm ready! So, back the to gym we go! YIPEE!!! I'm actually ready for it. I need my energy back!!!

So, now a report on the date. It actually went well. I must admit it was the best first date I think I may have ever had. Now, I'm not saying that it's going anywhere - but it could, I guess. It was great and I now have a little bit of a better attitude about dating - I think. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't uncomfortable, it wasn't boring. We had a great time and I'd really look forward to going out again! But, because I'm the old-fashioned type, this poor boy is going to have to put in the work (at least up front)!

I just wanted to share a quick post for this crazy Monday. I hope all is well and I look forward to the weekly reports from all of you!!!!

I'm convinced!

Micah is out to get me! Sure, sure, that's his job. Whatever. I think he was taking it easy on me until I "sealed the deal" and started paying the big bucks. Now, he makes me want to run and hide. Or maybe he's getting too confident in his own abilities?? Yeah, maybe that's it.

So, all that ranting was basically to say, I worked my butt off last night. And even though I wanted to quit, Micah wouldn't let me. Yes, yes, I am grateful that I finished and I am grateful for how I'm going to feel later, but last night's workout was hard!

I think that one of the reasons that this workout was so hard was because I realized how weak I really am. Sure, I've always played the "I'm tough" part in my life, but when exercising made me purely exhausted and I seriously wasn't able to do one more "dip" (and we had only done 20). I was sad that I'm not the "strong" person I thought I was.

I know it sounds like I'm whining. I guess I am. But at the same time, this whole episode last night gave me great motivation. Now I want to work harder to show that I can have muscle. I can be stronger. I can do this! I will prove to myself that I can! That's how I felt on the way home from the gym - which was great! THEN, last night's episode of "The Biggest Loser" drove it home even more. Those contestants (most still over 200 lbs) ran a half marathon! Sure, a bunch of them thought they were going to die, but they did it and they felt amazing.

I think sometimes we need to be pushed to realize that we can accomplish things out of our immediate grasp. I didn't think I could do a lot of that last night, but my little trainer wasn't going to let me quit. We have to work at it to get there. And that is what I will do!

Besides, there may be some tightening of some necessary places in this for me!

Could the plateau be back already??

Happy weigh in day! Sure, I know that not everyone weighs in on Tuesdays, but it's fun to think we all do.

I have had an incredibly busy week and weekend. I guess I should be happy that the scale didn't go anywhere as opposed to going up - which it very well could have done. So, I'll keep my 178. That's quite an accomplishment! I'm really excited about getting to 175 though. I've never seen 175. I guess I've had never seen 178 before either, but 175 sounds so much better. I know that it looks much different on me than I think it looks on others, but I can't wait to be there! Maybe that's why these plateaus are so painful. There are mini-goals that I'm just not getting to and it's tough.

I missed a few workouts last week, due to the training, the weekend full of parties & family, and the craziness that is my life and motherhood. I did get back to the gym and worked this jiggle into quite a sweat! Which has brought me to the conclusion that it's hard work getting half-assed!

I have decided (through much evaluation and negotiation) to keep my personal trainer (little Micah) for another 8 weeks. I think it will really pay off. I may not love the personal training sessions, but I love the insight they provide. I also love the accountability and the new/creative way of exercising that I haven't yet explored. 8 more weeks/sessions will get me within 3 weeks of my 1 year surgiversary. If things are well and I feel like the personal training touch is necessary, that may just be my surgiversary gift to myself. We'll just have to see. I SO want to be at my goal by May 22. So, all I need to do is keep on keeping on - right? And that is what I shall do!

I must admit, I'm feeling very good. I do have energy. I am sleeping a bit better. I'm still suffering from what I like to call/think of as post-op insomnia. But when I do sleep, I sleep well. So, that has to count for something.

It's good to be back and back in the routine. I can't wait to see how well I do next week!

Apparently technology has a "dumping syndrome" too!

Even though I did my weekly weigh in yesterday, I wasn't able to post my weekly report. Apparently Time Warner Cable had a huge mis-hap yesterday and we didn't have email or any type of Internet access for the entire day. Boy, did that make for a tough day!!!

So, the report is good! I was down another pound as of my weigh in yesterday. WOO HOO! So, maybe Micah is better for me than I had originally thought he would be. We're almost done with our "pre-paid" sessions and now I have to decide if I continue with the weekly sessions (which I really do think are helpful) or if I branch out on my own and take the chance. I will be putting some serious thought into this decision. I really do love that he provides me with exercises and techniques that are simple, but I just didn't think to do them. It's easier than just using the machines, but will I remember them all when he's gone? That's a tough one.

I'm actually doing pretty well, or so I think. I've been consistent with my exercise and my eating. Since my "dumping" episode, I've really been trying to watch what I put in my body. I'm making sure to get more water and protein in and I really think it's paying off. Once my body catches up with the exercise and gives me more energy I think I'll be doing pretty, stinkin, fabulous!!

I have to go out of town for training this week (Thursday and Friday). I'll be out of my normal routine (eating & exercising practices). I'm looking forward to the challenge, but I'm also nervous about being out of my comfort and forgetting things that are important (protein, water, vitamins, etc.). I guess you never know how you're going to fair until you stick your foot out there, huh?

So, here's me sticking my foot out there!!!

A dumping we will go!

Yep! It's so true! I had my first "real" experience with the dumping syndrome last night. The crazy thing is that it's one of those "delayed reaction time" dumping syndrome deals (which tend to happen with sugar and fruit sugar products - so they say) and I was NOT expecting it. Had I known that this is what it was like, I wouldn't have tried so many things to "test" the actual tolerance of my system. Now, I know what it's like and I'm pretty sure I'll be keeping a good distance from the pumpkin empanadas (at least for now).

I'm not positive that this was the food that caused this horrible experience. Nor am I certain that it was the treat itself. It very well could've been that I had too much of this treat, and had I stopped with the first half, it wouldn't have happened at all. But then, I wouldn't have this oh, so, wonderful experience to look back on and KNOW that I never want to have this again!

So, I'm back to a world of healthful diligence. I spent pretty much the entire weekend being exhausted, sore, head achy, and grouchy (just ask my family). I'm pretty sure that was due to the over working out (Thanks a lot Micah) and the not eating the way that I should. So, let's bring it all back to the land of what I'm supposed to be doing and following through with what I know will work for me as opposed to trying it out because it MAY not have an effect on me.

I think I may need to do a little tweaking or toning down of the workout. I think it's possible that I'm just pushing too hard in order to see results more quickly. Unfortunately, this is leading to pain and discomfort. In all reality, every little bit of movement is going to help. I don't have to kill myself just to see the scales change. So, I will take it a little easier with the weights as to prevent the injury. I will continue with the cardio - because it feels good. But I don't have to climb the highest incline at the highest speed. I'm toning that down a notch too. Just for a little while, until I can get better with my nutrition (protein & water intake).

So, I'm focused. I'm motivated. I'm feeling better and working at never having to feel that again. YEAH!!!!

It moved! It moved!!!

That's RIGHT! The scale moved! YIPEE!!! I've got to say that the fact that the scale moved this morning (even though it was only one pound) was the bright spot in my day. The funny thing is that when I saw that the scale had moved, I was so excited that it didn't even occur to me that I had hit another "milestone" moment. It wasn't until I was going around updating my tickers that it hit me. Yes Sir! I have OFFICIALLY lost 90 lbs! Needless to say, that brightened my day even more.

I must admit, I have worked very, very hard for that pound! I successfully made it to the gym AND through full workouts 3 times last week, not including the Saturday afternoon roller skating, and Sunday afternoon softball tossing. I have also increased my water consumption as well as the protein consumption. Though, I still need to get more of that protein in! That has to be the toughest part of this journey for me! Oh yeah, and the carbs. Time for them to go. I let some bad stuff slip in and now I'm trying to cast those Carb demons out of my life!!

Thank you so much for your support, suggestions, and ideas. It's so much easier to NOT get discouraged when you know that there are people out there that have experienced the same thing and can offer suggestions as far as what they do. I can't tell you how much the "blogging" community contributes to my success! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Now, if I can make it through a torturous day at work, I should have a good evening. I have another session with little Micah, my personal trainer. I'm hoping he'll provide me with some more great tips and give me some good exercises to firm the jiggle. Here's hoping we all have an incredible week!

A woman on a mission!

Yes siree! I am on a mission to make this journey work for me!

As I shared yesterday, I had my first "personal training" session with cute little Micah at the In-Shape city. I call him cute, little , Micah because he's probably about 18 - 20 and has NO CLUE what life in the "real world" is like. All he has to worry about is exercise and going home to play with the boys. Ok, I'm being a tad dramatic, but it didn't seem like he had much knowledge about life experience, but he did have some good ideas from a muscular stand point. Sure, it almost killed me, but beauty is pain - right?

I shared with him that I had gastric bypass in May and had lost nearly 90 lbs (yes, I'm still pissed that I don't get to claim that officially yet). He said that he has another post WLSer and he's got him on a diet of 300 grams of protein. REALLY (thoughts of disbelief are running like a rampage in my head)? I don't believe you! AND I DON'T!!!! I struggle with getting 70 grams in and I TRY! So, unless this guy is getting protein intravenously fed into his system, I'm not buying that one. But, little Micah can dream, right? He just wants me to know that he can help a WLSer just as much as anyone. And, I will give him the chance to help me take away the sag and unwanted rolls - as long as he doesn't annoy the snot out of me.

Last night, we started slow -but it still kicked my butt, and abs, and thighs, and quads. We didn't work out for more than 30 minutes, but I seriously had legs of "jello" when we tried to walk down the stairs to leave. Um, I guess just an elliptical/cardio machine isn't enough for me.

So, off I go into a new world of weights and trainers. I'm just hoping and praying I see results before I pass out from over exhaustion and dehydration. I'll definitely have to work on that! Here's to a happy, healthy, hearty and now muscle bound "Heather".