The verdict is in . . .

I really do wish I could post good news today. Unfortunately, I received a call this morning that I wasn't selected for the position. I so appreciate that I had so much encouragement, prayers, and well wishes. That really made me feel good, confident, and successful.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that when a "door" closes, another will open. So, I am taking this disappointment as a minor set back and I have to have faith that this didn't work out because I am supposed to be somewhere else. I must admit, this one hurt. But I need to realize that it wasn't because I wasn't the best I could be. I just wasn't the right fit this time.

The principal did tell me that there were 250 applicants for this one position. He narrowed it down to 12 for the first round of interviews and I got selected as one of the top three. He mentioned that this was an incredibly difficult decision because the top three were really, really good. He said that he was going to forward my information to every school in his district and if a position came open at his school, it would be mine. So, that has to be a good thing, right?

I'm not going to lie, I've been on an emotional roller coaster over this one. There's a huge part of me that wants to know what that "it" factor was. Was there anything I could've or should've said differently? But at the same time, I left the interview yesterday being scared to death that I would get the position. I know that sounds strange, but lets be honest . . . this will be my first year as a teacher. Could I live up to the high standards and expectations that the principal and the school have? Would I be the best, absolute best, for these students? I don't know - because I've never done it before. There's a good chance that the person that was selected has proof that they know exactly what they are doing and can produce outstanding results. I plan to have those one day, but this principal would've had to take a chance on me for that. I can do it, I know I can, but I'm intimidated and even a little scared. That's normal, right?

So, back to the drawing board for me. I will keep praying that the right position, school, district, etc. comes along. And we'll hope and pray that happens before I pull all my hair out. I don't have much to begin with. :-)

Now, on to something positive . . . I slept last night! Yes sir! I didn't wake up at my usual 3:30am. I even forgot to set my alarm and woke up 10 minutes later than I normally do. Whopee! I do hate having insomnia, but I sure do love the days after - when I sleep like a rock!

Today is a new day. No, huge, obligations and a possible play date for the little one. I'm ready to turn this day around. Just because it started with bad news, doesn't mean it has to end that way, right? Thank you for allowing me the vent session. I look forward to having a some more positive things to report tomorrow!

Wishing you all a very happy day!

It worked, It worked!

Thank you all for the well wishes and "good luck". The interview went well, or so it seems. I was asked to come back today at 1:40pm (PST). I'm in the top three! It's funny because just saying that makes me feel like I'm on American Idol or something like that. I really, really want to be the top one! Will you keep your good thoughts coming again today? I would LOVE to land this one!

It's going to be a busy day today. Thanks to the insomnia - again - it will be a long one too! Today is the "exit" interview for the teacher credential program I'm in. If they don't like what I've done/put together, they can choose to not send a recommendation. No, I don't really think that will happen, but I guess you never know.

Then after that, I have the 2nd interview with the school that I really want. Can anyone tell me how to land that one? I am just being me, and the good thing about that is that "me" means that I'm really excited to be a teacher and it's obvious. I hope that's a good thing. The principal says that the decision will be made tonight. Boy, tonight seems like ages away.

So, the goal for today is to stay positive! I need to KNOW that I'm successful and I need to let the world know that I was put on the earth to do this and I will be the best I can be! Not only do I need to stay positive, I need to stay awake! With all of this excitement this should be easy, right?

Please keep the good vibes coming and I'll make sure to keep you posted!

An award, I'm honored!

Thank you Laurie for appreciating my ramblings. Who knew it was award worthy?

So, the rules are (if I understand them correctly) that I am to list seven things you may not know about me. Hey, I may find something else about me in the process too.

Here we go . . .

1. I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology. So it's true, crazy people can get enjoyment out of learning about other crazy people. This should come in handy with my new career choice.
2. I get insomnia every Sunday night. I don't know why, it makes no sense, but it happens. This is all since WLS. I know that I'm not the only one who experiences this side effect, but I know that I don't like it. I need my sleep!
3. I have a fear of missing out. I get sad when people get together and have fun when I can't be around. I don't think I'm jealous, I just really like hanging out with people and wish I could do it more often.
4. I am a single women who hates to date. I wish the "right" guy - that's a ton of fun to be with - would just drop in my lap (so to speak) so I don't have to date. I hate the awkward meetings/conversations and I really don't like having to disappoint someone when I don't want to continue with the meeting.
5. I (we) haven't seen or heard from my son's father (aka - the biological) since before the little muffin turned one. Sometimes this makes me sad because he doesn't have a "Dad" like the other kids do, but I know it's the best thing for him, I just don't know how to explain it all to him so that he'll understand it. He's the light of my life and I can't imagine him thinking that he wasn't wanted. It just kills me. Someday it'll all make sense.
6. I cannot eat fruit (or much of it) since WLS. I didn't think it would bother me that much, but it kind of does. Sometimes I just want a nice ripe peach, or a few strawberries. Sure, I can do it, but it's not going to feel good for a while.
7. I LOVE that I don't drink or crave sodas anymore. I thought it would be difficult, but it's really not that bad. I don't even think twice about tasting them anymore. Now that's a good thing!

I thought this would be difficult, but surprisingly, this came quite easy today. I'm sure I could've listed more. That's not always the case.

So, on to the hard part. Now I get to "tag" 5 of my favorite bloggers to receive the award. Since Laurie listed a couple/few of my favs already, I get to list a couple of new ones - YIPEE!

And the award goes to . . .

Janine at Journey to a Mini Me

Jil at Shut Your Piehole

I said so at For Real, This Time

Kim at Faith, Grace & Giggles

Sheila at Stranger Than Fiction and More Fun too

Honestly, this part was more difficult than coming up with facts. I'm not sure who reads this blog. So, if you're out there and I don't know it, please drop a line and say "Hi". I'd love to hear from you!

That chick is trying to kill me!

So, I was off to such a great start yesterday. I was positive, motivated, and ready to rock. I had committed to exercise for at least 30 minutes and so I wanted to be creative about what I was going to do. I decided to scroll through the "On Demand" feature with our new cable company (thank you Comcast). There were some very interesting options. One claimed to be as good as a tummy tuck (may try that someday) another was called "Cardioke", sounds crazy but it was intriguing, but I decided to settle on Jillian Michaels "Quick trouble zones". Maybe it would be better called, "A quick way to kill me"? I can't imagine what this "shred" that people are talking about would do!

Ok, Ok, lets be honest, I did the work out and I felt good - once it was over. Sure, it HURT, and I had to stop a time or two because I couldn't go any further (surrender pose? Let's be real)! But it felt good and productive, until today. Can we say "OUCH"? Yep. In fact, I can't tell if my stomach hurts because I have a flu bug, or if it's just that my belly has been worked. Guess this means I need to do more of this, huh? Do we think this could've sparked the dreaded insomnia of last night??

Since I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive, I'll list some good things that happened. I'm on chapter 5 in my new book (Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth). She's saying some things that I know are true, I just haven't figured out how to fix them. This book is not geared toward the C & P types, but she is talking about all of (or a whole lot of) the things I deal with from a psychological perspective. I can't wait to get to the point where I'm introduced to ways to deal with this. I sure hope it comes. I'll keep you posted.

I did eat much, much healthier yesterday. I had yummy veggies, chicken, and salads all day. I also drank lots of water! It was great, and it felt good. And no kettle corn yesterday - that was a real feat! Woo Hoo!

All in all, things are well. I'm excited about it being Friday. I'll be much more excited if I get a nap in!

I hope all is well and I hope you're all experiencing the BEST Friday ever! Happy weekend!

Could the plateau be back already??

Happy weigh in day! Sure, I know that not everyone weighs in on Tuesdays, but it's fun to think we all do.

I have had an incredibly busy week and weekend. I guess I should be happy that the scale didn't go anywhere as opposed to going up - which it very well could have done. So, I'll keep my 178. That's quite an accomplishment! I'm really excited about getting to 175 though. I've never seen 175. I guess I've had never seen 178 before either, but 175 sounds so much better. I know that it looks much different on me than I think it looks on others, but I can't wait to be there! Maybe that's why these plateaus are so painful. There are mini-goals that I'm just not getting to and it's tough.

I missed a few workouts last week, due to the training, the weekend full of parties & family, and the craziness that is my life and motherhood. I did get back to the gym and worked this jiggle into quite a sweat! Which has brought me to the conclusion that it's hard work getting half-assed!

I have decided (through much evaluation and negotiation) to keep my personal trainer (little Micah) for another 8 weeks. I think it will really pay off. I may not love the personal training sessions, but I love the insight they provide. I also love the accountability and the new/creative way of exercising that I haven't yet explored. 8 more weeks/sessions will get me within 3 weeks of my 1 year surgiversary. If things are well and I feel like the personal training touch is necessary, that may just be my surgiversary gift to myself. We'll just have to see. I SO want to be at my goal by May 22. So, all I need to do is keep on keeping on - right? And that is what I shall do!

I must admit, I'm feeling very good. I do have energy. I am sleeping a bit better. I'm still suffering from what I like to call/think of as post-op insomnia. But when I do sleep, I sleep well. So, that has to count for something.

It's good to be back and back in the routine. I can't wait to see how well I do next week!

Sleepless nights and weigh ins!

I wish I could start this out with a happy, "Good morning" message, but unfortunately, that's not going my way today. I am trying to be positive, I promise, but there are a bunch of things that are getting me down today.

First of all, I woke up (AGAIN) at 2:39am with my lovely new friend I like to call insomnia! It's strange that it's almost always that exact time - 2:39am. Not 2:38, not 2:45, but 2:39am. I don't really get it. This morning I thought I was going to go right back to sleep because I have been so exhausted. Boy, was I wrong. It was a tough night - but I made it. I should sleep REALLY well tonight!

Next, I got into work and other people that are in foul/grumpy moods have decided to take it out on me. I'm not ready for their foul mood, I'm getting into one of my own right now. Now, I'm frustrated, grumpy, AND sleepy! Am I in for a good day or what?

Ok, enough griping and complaining. I need to turn this day around. So, let's get on with some good news. I am in the 180's - sure, it's 189, but that's progress, right???? Happy weigh in day for me. And to think I almost didn't weigh because I was so tired! But, I did, and it went well. AND, I'm officially down 80 pounds! WHAT?? 80? It doesn't even feel like 80 lbs gone, but it is! What in the world is 109 lbs down going to feel like? Look like? Will I change my goal when I get there? It will be interesting to see what happens. I'm sure I'll be sharing! Honestly, from today, I'm only 29 lbs away from my goal. Could it really happen before I hit my Surgiversary?? Maybe even by my birthday (April)? That can be exciting!

I'm getting excited about my trip for this weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing friends and getting to catch up a bit. The good thing is that even though this day and week have started out rough, I've got good things to look forward too. Sure, I'm a little anxious and possibly insecure, but I can't wait until it all plays out!

Coming back down!

FINALLY! It feels like it's been forever since I have actually been down on the scale. Fortunately, today (my actual weigh in day) I was down! I'm now getting closer and closer to my goal! YIPEE!!!

Things have been a little be off lately. I'm in a bit of a "funk". I have been dealing with a bit of insomnia lately. I don't really understand. Things are going fairly well. I am experimenting with new foods/recipes, I'm cooking a lot more, I'm being a lot more active, these are all things I love, yet, something is off. I wonder, is this common? I question what the "off" feeling could be, but I can't actually put my finger on it. It could be my lack of social options (especially when I desperately need some social time), it could be the fact that I'm struggling financially, it could be that I am running out of clothes to wear and I don't have any money to get clothes to replace them. I actually tried to wear two pair of dress pants last week and they looked awful. One pair actually looked like I was wearing black pajama bottoms. The fact that I don't have any clothes should be fabulous! But the thought of going to work in pajamas is not so appealing. I sure hope this is just a phase and I jump out of it quickly! I also hope that the clothes fairy is nice to me and shows me some mercy. There is a "clothes fairy" right?

This past week marked my 5 month surgiversary (as many other bloggers like to call it). I can't believe it's been 5 months. Then again, I can't believe it's been only 5 months. Sometimes it feels like I've been at this forever!!! I am so excited to have this chance and this opportunity to change my life. I can't wait to get closer to reaching my goals. I feel such a sense of accomplishment with each step closer. I can't believe I'll be under 200 lbs in just 3 pounds!!!! Sure, that could potentially be a month away (I hope not), but it's only 3 pounds! That's nothing when I see that I've already shed 66!!!! I get so envious of others (when I read their blogs) and see where they are in their journey. I can't wait to be at that point and be able to say, "I wouldn't trade this for the world"!